why God never asked me to write part of the Bible

I'm not a Hebrew or Greek scholar, so I don't know how things read in the original language. I have studied Shakespeare, and the KJV often reminds me of the Shakespearean plays with its strange wordings and politely masked jabs. And yet, despite the translation, the distinctive tone of each author is clear in the books. Take Genesis, for example. We know Moses didn't want to be God's spokesman before Pharaoh, claiming a lack of eloquence. And that roughness comes through in the first book he recorded. It never ceases to startle me how abruptly he jumps in the story line. It's like talking to a southern male who matter-of-factly states what he thinks and jumps to the next thing. Why waste time on details? We know the books of the law were either written directly by God or directly dictated to Moses (I'm leaning more toward God carving them into the stones...can you imagine how many MONTHS Moses would have been on the mountain doing that?). And I think that's why the OT law books are so detailed, methodical, and organized.
Thankfully, God knew that it would never EVER do for me to have any part in writing or recording His words. I can see it now. That verse from Proverbs that says "Wine is a mocker and a strong drink. He who drinks it is not wise." coming from me would read something like "Only idiots drink wine." Doesn't quite sound the same, does it? Or the teen's memory verse for this week (John 13:17) comes out in my translation as this: Obey God and be happy. That's not exactly poetic or uplifting.
I like to think that by reading the sophisticated wording that does exist, that my mind will be instantly renewed into a softer, gentler nature. So far, it seems I only pick up the harsh doctrine and it is regurgitated from my tongue as welping barbs. We can all relax that God will never ask me to write the Bible. If I can just master some of what is written I think that would help the world (or at least those around me) tremendously.

the value of a dollar

Last year we gave our summer kids an allowance. The deal was that we would provide the necessities and they would buy the wants with their money, but everything was subject to approval. (In other words, no rap CDs or skull covered t-shirts!) And it became very interesting to see how we valued things differently.
For example, at the cash register in Michael's are these ugly, small, kid-appealing in pens for $2.99 At first, the kids all wanted one, and I told them they would have to use their money. They thought that was a very reasonable price. I told them it wasn't. My "faulty" reasoning was that you can buy a whole pack of pens for that price! Their line of thinking was that this was a really cool pen, PLUS ice cream at McDonald's only costs $1. I guess if ice cream at McDonald's is a $1, then a small, fancy pen should certainly be more than that.
Had the boys had the money, they would have gladly plunked down $200 for a cell phone, or an i-pod. I would never pay that for either one, but yet I wouldn't think twice about spending that same amount on a sewing machine or a nice camera. Granted, a camera and a sewing machine should last me the rest of my life (or at least half of it!), whereas a cell phone or i-pod will most likely be dead or extinct within 10 years. But it's still interesting to stop and think about why we place value over certain items, and how our mind determines why things are "worth it".
I want to say the price of a car is not worth it, but when i consider the alternatives (horse & buggy, walking, bicycle) then I think maybe it is. After all, as expensive as a horse would be in care & feed and time, I think the car might actually pay for itself. Note the word might. There's nothing like car problems to sink you deep in a financial abyss. But that's another blog for another time. And now I have my curiosity peaked...what items do you feel are worth splurging on?

the rules

If I were one of those people who could care less what others think of me, here's what I'd post in my office at work:

The Rules:

1. No cutting in line.
   Your project will be done in the order in which it was received.
   (And yes, this applies to department heads!)

2. Color inside the lines.
There are rules for design that are rarely broken.
I know these rules.
You don't.

3. Be specific.
The words "contemporary" and "modern" mean different things to different people.

4. Turn your papers in on time.
Do I look like your secretary?

5. Read the instructions FIRST!
Yes, that little HELP button does help you, but only if you push it.
Why ask me when you can read the instructions?!?

But I won't post these in my windows. Maybe this fall I'll get around to doing a drawing I've been thinking about for ages...you know, that Bible verse that talks about God setting a guard before our mouth. As you can tell, I certainly need one!

metaphors and such

Today in Junior Church we reviewed previous lessons before covering our lesson on Noah's ark. When we reviewed the fall, some of the kids started laughing. Evidently when we say "God kicked them out of the garden" the younger siblings interpreted that to mean God literally took his foot and kicked them out, like the cartoons. I think they were a little disappointed when I told them no, God just told them to leave. Then one of the picture cards showing the ark being built also had Noah making a sacrifice. They asked about it, so we briefly discussed why people had to make annual sacrifices before Jesus came. And since I try to give examples on their level whenever I mention the word sin, I said "For example, if Josh is tired and Jacob gets on his nerves and he snaps his brother's head off..." and they all died laughing and the boys start jerking their head to the side. So I explained the metaphor and on we go with the lesson about how that unkindness would require a sacrifice to cover it. Some of the other questions they asked from today's lesson:
1. What are the clean animals (you know, God took 7 of those)?
2. Is an unblemished sheep white, or can it be another color?
3. Was the ark bigger than a football field?
4. Did God take 2 dogs, or did he take 2 poodles and 2 beagles, etc?
5. Did Noah open the window at any time before letting the birds outside?
6. Were Adam & Eve killed during the flood? (guess we forgot to mention they died in previous lessons!)
7. Does that mean we're really related to everybody? Just how many great-grandpas is Adam?

One thing about it, Sunday mornings in Junior Church are never dull.

car show

Last Saturday Bobby and I went to the Convention Center downtown for the International Auto Expo. It was a blast. The only thing I regretted was not taking my camera. At the entrance was a monstrous Rolls Royce that cost way more than our house, and we found a three wheeled, two-seater Harley Davidson with white siding and red flames for the price of Bobby's van. Today we headed to another show at the Fairgrounds, as they had the companies that bailed out of last week's show, and this time I did remember to take my camera! Here's some of the cool vehicles we saw today:

The back seats in this van fold down to make a bed! Who needs a camper when you have a vehicle like this?

AND, it had a sun roof, PLUS above each seat was a brown compartment (look toward the roof). It opened up into a storage area that would hold quite a bit of stuff.

And I've never seen a full-size television MOUNTED into the ceiling of a van before.

We joked about this being the car for me, but finally decided it wouldn't work for two reasons:
one, Bobby's too tall to fit in it, and two, it would mess up my hair.

This little vehicle, while cute, doesn't meet my four door requirement, and I also don't like the modern small passenger windows. Besides, if you had a car like this, you'd have to at some point play Dukes of Hazard and I'd never ever fit through the window of this thing. Of course, I'd paint the number three on the doors instead of one. And it would have the Alabama state flag on the roof, of course. And heaven forbid it have a name like General Lee. I'd probably call it something like, "Bobby's girl" or some other name that would make all the men in my family cringe or roll their eyes. Yes, there would definitely be some minor adjustments.

my McDonalds menu

1. Sweet tea (if you get the large it's only $1)
2. Fish Fillet
3. Grilled Chicken Sandwich
4. Salad with grilled chicken
5. Fruit and Walnut Salad

and if I'm feeling really wild and adventurous I'll get the fries with my fish fillet. Some days a girl just needs some salt!

warm weather

The moon is full.

The weather is warm.

The animals are stirring.

My dogs are driving me crazy.

What kind of ball is this that has them barking non-stop?

Ahh, a heinous 'possum...the creature that had it no feet could easily have been the serpent that deceived Eve. I honestly would not be surprised if such a creature is the wormwood found in hell they are so repulsive. Mutant rats is what they are. Last night the dogs stayed at the trees by the pond barking, possibly at this same creature or its relatives (though it could be for a raccoon). I'm hoping tonight they hear or smell nothing.