tomorrow night

I know this is not the way to end week one of "healthy" eating (healthy by my standards, anyway), but tomorrow night we are celebrating VDay/aka Naomi's birthday, by going to Meadow Restaurant. It's this little "town" about a 35-40 minute drive away, and it has no traffic lights. None. But it does have a major four way stop intersection that holds a gas station, small shop, fire station, and a school. OH. and the restaurant.

It's small. It's a non-descript brick building with an old plastic sign out front. I'm not even sure the sign lights up. The parking lot isn't paved, and there's nothing elaborate about it all.

But the food. Oh my word. They have a very small and modest fruit/salad bar. A vegetable bar with all  your southern veggies: black-eyed peas, green English peas, boiled potatoes, collards, fatback (which Bobby likes), stewed tomatoes, fried apples, and then at the end will be either rice and country style steak or meatloaf and mashed potatoes. On the next little bar is fried chicken and a wide variety of seafood.

The third bar I've never been to but it's a favorite of kids...ice cream and toppings such as gummy bears, marshmellows, and nuts.

But the last bar...that is the bar that makes this restaurant famous. As in, they've won awards for this tiny table.  Desserts.  Home-made chocolate pie with three inch high marangue (which I don't like marangue, but the pie base is still good), home-made red velvet cake, german chocolate, basic yellow cake with chocolate icing, chocolate cake with buttercream icing, and at least three others.

And we are going to celebrate. I'm going to be a little reasonable and limit myself to a salad and grilled shrimp so I can have more dessert, even though I do like all their other foods. We've agreed we can eat normal on holidays and special occasions, and I think this will certainly qualify. I know the next week will probably be painful in dealing with sweet cravings, but that's okay.

So get ready Meadow Restaurant...here we come! :)

a good but crazy week

Since my last post, a LOT has happened.

On Wednesday we received word that a friend of ours lost her husband. I've never met him, but we were among many who prayed for his salvation. He grew up in a pastor's home and wanted absolutely nothing to do with faith. His wife didn't grow up in church, and found Christ, after marriage, to be the missing piece in her life. Within a few months of his cancer diagnosis, he came to Christ. So I hurt for my friend and her loss, but am rejoicing that we know where her husband is today. His funeral is tomorrow, and I can assure you that the wife's church will be rejoicing to an answered prayer of over 20 years.

On the other hand, my heart is still hurting for a family in our church in a similar situation, but with a different outcome. It's definitely a double loss for them.

Thursday - the insanity began. We returned to healthy eating (by our standards - making sure we eat the required amount of fruits and vegetables and less meat and bread, and for me going back to myfitnesspal and counting my calories). I am giving myself official holidays and birthdays off, and that's it. It's not been easy. At all. I don't have a timeline, but I need to lose 110 pounds. That will still have me overweight on the charts, but since I've never matched the charts, that doesn't bother me. The longest I've ever lasted on this journey has been three months, but I'm trying not to think about the future and just worry about today.

That night at our ladies book club at church (we're reading Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges), I found it SO applicable to the day (not being thankful for my healthy vegetables, anxiety over whether or not I'll fail again, etc) and I love being able to laugh with the ladies in our church. I love their openness and the honesty, and the fact we can talk about areas in our lives that need improvement without fear of condemnation. That is such a blessing.

And while I was at the meeting, Bobby's last remaining aunt (the youngest of his Dad's siblings) was at the hospital undergoing a partial hip replacement. We had seen her Saturday and she could barely walk, so I wasn't terribly surprised to hear she broke her hip. I'm thankful for the care she has received where she lives (and I'm making myself a note to blog about it soon). I don't know what the future will hold for her now, but as I watch her I often wonder will I one day be in her shoes (she doesn't have childen and never married...totally on her own).

And today is my Dad's birthday. I got to talk to him this morning, though I don't think his card will make it to AL today. It's hard to believe I have a parent who is 71. I think my younger siblings will get together Sunday for lunch to celebrate with them. I don't think his cake will be as cool as mine that my sister got for me (see below), but if my 8 year old niece and 11 year old nephew have any say, it will be uniqe.

And now I need to sign off before I start craving chocolate chip cookies again. Bernina quilt sampler information will have to wait for another day.

super glue

Growing up in Alabama I heard a lot of football games. And a common refrain heard when a player dropped the ball was, "Coach, you better get that super glue out. Those boys aren't catching a thing today."  (For those of you in NC, read that with the Johnston County accent but draw the vowels out into another syllable (or have a "flat mouth" as our choir director says).

Today is one of those days when I feel I'm in need of super glue.

Eating healthy? I can catch that ball easy enough when I want to, but when it's a holiday/I'm tired/eating at someone else's house who doesn't cook healthy/monotony/chocolate craves/ rush my willpower, my resolve could use a little super glue.

Exercise?  When my schedule feels full (even though it's really not) and I'm tired both physically and emotionally, I not only need super glue to hold that ball in my hand, I need duct tape! After today's work-out where I have NO energy left and a long day still ahead of me, I could easily throw exercise to the curb.

Friendship? Nope. Not really interested in listening to someone tell me about their woes today. (Yes, my kindness is missing and I need to leave the stadium and find it.)

My head is telling me (in my mother's voice) "Don't be weary in well-doing for in due season you will reap if you faint not."  and my heart is telling me Bojangles sweet tea and chicken is just what this weary soul needs.

Which makes me laugh, because last night's lesson at church was how "the heart is deceitfully wicked; who can know it?" and how we need to let God search our hearts and we need to renew our minds with Scripture. I'm not a Jim Berg fan (the author of the book) for reasons I don't care to go into, but last night's lesson has been very useful today.

And in case you're wondering...I ate a banana sandwich for lunch instead of something that actually makes my taste buds water. Sigh....

whatever & all you got

Last night I was researching a topic on-line, and kept finding a mantra running through every article I read.

Healthy heating + exercise = good mental health.

Granted, it didn't break it down in such a simplistic equation.  But exercise can trick the brain into creating more serotonin, the chemical that depressed people are often low or missing, and that sleep-deprived Moms deplete (specifically those who are suffering post-partem).  Maintaining a healthy diet can also prohibit it from disappearing all together.

So then this morning on the news they're blabbering on about lack of daylight and its repercussions on people (don't you just love the optimism?) and get this: exercising 20 minutes a day and eating certain foods (ESPECIALLY for women) like fish, bananas, fiber, etc. will help eliminate the winter blahs.

I used to tease my parents about the Bible verses that said "Whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not unto men" included my junk food eating and "Bodily exercise profits a little..." meant that it really wasn't worth my time.

But I'm slowly being reminded (rebuked might be a better word) that WHATEVER I do, including eating and moving around in non-comfortable positions, has a purpose, and should be done for HIM.  I would not be pleased if a restaurant chef only half-way prepared and cooked my food.  Yet how I cook and what I stick in my body is a reflection of what I'm doing for God.  It's all or nothing.  That's a scary thought.

The sad thing is my headaches may not go away in the next day or two if I stop the caffeine flow again. It'll take a few more weeks of cleansing my body again.  My face will probably not stop breaking out since I've had so many of my favorite soft drinks in the last month.   And my energy and emotional level?  It'll even out again once I get the rest of me in line. Whatever I eat; all the time.  An easy mantra, just a harder practice.

mhhmmmm

10 Reasons Why I've Only Lost an Inch in Certain Places After a Year of Exercising

1. Peanut M&Ms
2. Dr. Pepper
3. Bread
4. Reeses Cups
5. Sweet Tea
6. Macaroni & Cheese
7. Rolos
8. Honey Flavored Peanut Butter
9. fried foods
10. STARCHES!!!
    

unhealthy meals

Before I got married, there were nights that I either had no motivation nor energy to cook. I suppose those were the nights that I needed meat and veggies the most. Instead I went for my favorite comfort foods: Dr. Pepper and chocolate chip cookies (or the dough itself). Sadly, I haven't had that for a meal but once since I've been married, and sometimes I miss it.

Another totally unhealthy food that I enjoy(ed) was KFC. It ranks second to my Dad's fried chicken. It seems we had it at family reunions or church socials, and maybe that's why I considered it so special. The last few years it seems to disagree with me. I just assumed it was because we were trying to eat healthier, making my stomach unhappy with the good 'ol greasy stuff. But then I've heard from several other people that ever since restaurants switched to the no trans fat grease, they've had a hard time eating fast foods. It makes me pause and wonder if perhaps my stomach is not the problem, but the new grease.

And I'm also pondering why it is that our bodies crave certain foods. Is it because we've developed such bad eating habits, is it genetic in that our taste buds recognize certain flavors as delicious, or is it simply that our body needs a certain nutrient? (I've actually read that theory; our bodies are in need of a certain substance, hence creating cravings, but we attempt to satisfy those needs with unhealthy choices.)

Meanwhile, I've abstained from all I've craved today...for now.

my new favorite product

A few weeks ago my mother-in-law introduced me to her favorite peanut butter:

crunchy honey roasted

It was very sweet, and absolutely delicious. I immediately assumed that meant it was extra fattening. Nevertheless, I bought a jar for my husband who likes crunchy peanut butter. (I'm a creamy girl, unless I'm cooking with it and then I like the nuts.) This past week while buying me a new jar of creamy peanut butter, I tried out the kind that is 33% less sugar and salt, and it was absolutely horrible. I can assure you, the only thing it will be used for is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But as I'm putting the jar back into the pantry, I decided to make myself feel better about eating something that wasn't all that great, and I checked the calorie content. Not bad, I thought. 190 calories for 2 T of pb. It's 40 calories less than the regular. And to make myself feel even better, I checked the honey roasted crunchy stuff, which is super duper sweet. 190 calories for 2 T of pb. WHAT?!?!?!?! I even triple checked the numbers.
Needless to say, when all the jars of pb are emptied, I will be replacing them with honey roasted crunchy pb even if it does cost more. I mean, if I'm going to be consuming the same amount of calories whether it tastes good or bad, you better believe I'm grabbing for the sweet, savory stuff.
Bring on the honey!

my favorite Christmas foods

Without intentionally setting out to do it, I have actually acquired a few recipes this year that I really like and will fix more than once that ARE NOT DESSERTS! Yes, I know that's incredulous but it's true!!!

One is Cheesy Vegetable Soup (aka Penne Tramp's soup per Mary Booth). It has chicken broth, celery, onions, and a large bag of California Medley (also known as carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli), followed by a a whole pound of Velveeta cheese, cubed, the last twenty minutes. There may be other things (like salt, etc) but I don't have the recipe in front of me. I mashed one of the veggies after they simmered as a certain man in my household dislikes cauliflower. He never once tasted it. I will definitely fix this soup again this winter.

And Lydia http://themommypages.blogspot.com posted a lasagna soup recipe that was awesome! I even bought the ingredients tonight so I can make it again!

So why am I blogging about soups when my post is titled my favorite Christmas foods? No, but sorry. These soups aren't it. But because Christmas is coming, and all my favorite Christmas recipes are desserts, it just made me think about my new recipes. (See how my brain jumps from rabbit trail to rabbit trail?)

And, as was promised from the title:

1. Fudge with nuts.
2. Peanut butter on ritz crackers dipped in chocolate
3. Haystacks
4. Instant chocolate oatmeal cookies (which I'll make before heading to AL, or else after we get them for my bro-in-law and brother).
5. Mom's Hawaiian pie.
6. Peanut butter balls.
7. Mrs. Bryan's chocolate chip cookies
8. Truffles
   
9. Apple Jacks (small fried apple pies which I haven't had since my Granny died)
10. and new this year....gingerbread cookies!

And the other favorite food, which isn't a dessert, but I like about Christmas, is HAM! I love the left-over ham when Mom lets us heat it up and eat it with scrambled eggs for breakfast. There's nothing like breakfast the first few days after Christmas, especially when it's followed by chocolate syrup on biscuits.....ohhhhhhhh!

But this year, if my willpower holds, will be slightly different. I'm refusing to gain back the weight I've worked so hard to get off the last six months. So apples, bananas, oranges, and yogurt will be my snacks BEFORE I eat any candy. And if I eat more than 2 pieces of candy, then I have to go outside in the hilly Alabama bitter cold and walk for twenty minutes.

And I reserve the right to edit this post upon my return and delete the above paragraph. Sigh...lead us not into temptation!

craziness

One of the nice things (in a warped sort of way) about exercising is that my muscles are often sore. So when I stop at Target on my way home from the gym, even when I browse every single candy aisle and my mouth waters a little bit at all the sale items, my muscles wouldn't let me buy a single thing. Every move of my arms said, "Uh-uh...we hurt too bad...and you want to cause us MORE pain?"
Counting calories has helped me to be more stingy with what I eat. I need all the energy I can get, and eating a piece of dessert means eating healthier items (like green beans, broccoli, or steamed cabbage) to make room for that piece of apple pie. If nothing else, this 10 for 10 challenge has really forced me to evaluate how out of control I've allowed my eating to become. Instead of me controlling my food, I've allowed it to control me.
I keep telling myself that I didn't put all this weight on overnight, and it's not going to come off overnight, either. AND for the first time in a few years, my blood pressure is now under the borderline for high bp instead of on or over it. WHOOHOOO!
And I've heard a few rumbles of discouragement or dissatisfaction from a few who are struggling with the challenge. I'm debating whether or not we need a half-way pep rally to encourage each other on. We could swap healthy, but tasty, recipes, exercise together, or just chat. Does anyone have any other ideas?

a favorite thing

When I was about 8 years old, my "great aunt" Mat (she was actually two greats and her name was Mattie) stopped living with us and went to live with her youngest sister, who was named Fannie. We would go visit them about once a month. Aunt Fannie had some of the best snack foods in her house, and one of my favorite was the peanut shaped cookies. While Bobby was in the hospital, I rediscovered them in the cafeteria! So I looked for them in the grocery store, and lo and behold, there they were! So unlike my good friend Sara who is publicly willing to account for every morsel that goes in her mouth, I'll just be satisfied to say that peanut butter, which is this cookie's filling, is healthy and full of protein, and that I might start my diet next week. Maybe.

one of life's cycles

You cut back your food to a "normal" portion size. Two hours later you're not only still hungry, but a little crabby as well. All the experts say you need to exercise as well. So you exercise, but not too much too soon, because you need to build up to it. And yet, the next day every joint in your body constantly exudes reminders that you are not as young as you used to be. SO, you have the crazy circle - eat what you want, do what you want and feel somewhat okay; OR eat what you should eat, do what you ought to do, be "healthy" but totally miserable. Am I missing something somewhere?