Happy New Year!

2011. wow.
I remember laughing in high school about living in a decade that started with 20 and how far away that would be, and now we're already into the second decade of this millennium.
Last year I didn't set monthly goals or challenges, as I had several lengthy projects. While I read more this past year and did a much better job of staying caught up on the laundry and housework, I also had several projects that I never accomplished. So this year I hope to break them down into smaller, more realistic goals in hopes of actually getting a few extra things done.
What does 2011 hold? Doctor appointments, weddings, births, and a plethora of activities. :) That much is already guaranteed. Beyond that, it's probably safe to say that my spirit is gasping, my health is weird, and my brain is (as always) a constant whirlwind of ideas. At this time next year, I will still not weigh my "ideal" weight according to the weight charts (but will hopefully be 20 pounds lighter!), I will not be as disciplined as my husband, and I will still be somewhat disorganized. And as I get older, I become more and more okay with such things, with accepting some things as simply the way God made me and becoming more comfortable with who I am and willing to work on modifying certain characteristics even though I recognize I will never totally change in those areas.
So 2011, I welcome your blank pages!

thinking about tomorrow

We live we love
We forgive and never give up
‘Cause the days we are given are gifts from above
Today we remember to live and to love

Life is such a gift
So how does the story end
Well this is your story and it all depends
So don’t let it become true
Get out and do what we were meant to do…

(excerpts from Superchick's "We Live")

This is one of the two songs that has been occupying my brain and thoughts lately. (The other song is "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac.)

Many of you know that last June I half-heartily started trying to lose weight, and that in August I started regularly going to the local wellness center. It's now eight months in, and I've been a little discouraged lately. Yet this past week I've also realized how silly my discouragement has been/is.

Here's the reality:

• In eight months my blood pressure has dropped away from the high border zone and the high bp headaches have stopped.
• I have successfully lost and kept off ten pounds. (We won't discuss how many times those pounds came back on and were lost again.)
• Our eating habits have gotten a little bit better.
• I'm now able to walk up the hill behind our house without bending double or gasping for air.
• I've dropped a skirt size. Granted, that lower size is tight, but just the fact that it will zip and not be in danger of popping if I move is thrilling.
• I don't have the extreme, addictive, unhealthy cravings of chocolate as often as I used to.
• I no longer come home from the gym and crash for two hours, physically drop-dead exhausted.
  

and here's my unrealistic expectations that I fight:

• that the weight I've gained the last 15 years will ooze off in 1 year.
• that 20 years of bad eating habits will majestically and easily be corrected
• that eating healthy will just magically happen without me having to think about it
• that all this exercise will give me energy (hahahahahahahahahahahaha)

If my benefit list is so much longer than my unrealistic disappointment list, then why am I so discouraged? Perhaps I need to get my focus off of the storm and onto the reality that Christ is in the boat with me, and that I really and truly can do ALL things through Him. This temple of mine will never again look like the 17 year old frame that it once was, but that doesn't mean I have to let it remain in the horrid disrepair that it has been. And as we all know, remodeling and projects take time.