courtrooms

A few years ago I sat in on a court session (they were handling eviction cases). Everyone was super quiet, the cases moved very quickly, and I was a bit intimidated at how austerely the judge ruled the courtroom. Every time the doors opened, he briefly stopped and stared at the person coming inside.

Yesterday Bobby needed to be at a courtroom in another county, and since his wheelchair is still not repaired I needed to drive him. I was also curious to see how this type of court (superior court, as opposed to magistrate court) would be handled. I expected it to be even more somber and serious.

The courthouse was relatively new, meaning very nice and very clean, the guards at the metal detectors were very nice (and Bobby left his fork in the van instead of in his pouch since the Wake County Courthouse officials are not ADA friendly and were going to confiscate it because it "could be a weapon"), they didn't ask Bobby to take his pouch off the side of his wheelchair or treat him like a suicide bomber, but the courtroom itself was very informal.

After the judge came in, all the different lawyers for the different lawyers were whispering among themselves and in no particular oder addressed issues with upcoming cases (clients currently in custody and not able to attend, in session in a court downstairs, etc). The lack of organization was bothering me more than a little.

But I will say this: I was impressed with the judge, even if he didn't run an austere courtroom. When he talked to the defendant, he was clear, asked some very good questions, asked for clarifications when he needed it, and lectured the defendant with some history about how he would have been sentenced in the past in NC, as well as reviewing the potential sentencing he could receive before handing down the sentence.

When I was in college, a group of boys would go downtown Nashville on weekends to watch "night court". They described it as Judge Judy with a lot more action. For some reason that never instilled any desire in me to go. Yesterday, I was impressed with some of the lawyers, how they defended people who were wrong without attempting to sugarcoat the crimes, how they saw their clients as humans who had made mistakes, but still needed to be treated as humans. I was also a tad appalled as lawyers from both sides discussed a case on the docket (the client who was supposed to be present was in jail), and were postponing a hearing until next April (so much for swift justice) and the Assistant DA shrugged and said "I doubt he'll make it until then." (the guy had coded in prison and was transferred to a prison hospital).  I think like the medical field, the court system is very complex with a lot of ethical situations people don't consider until they've actually had to deal with all the details of a case. It's a bit scary how people's lives are impacted by a few short minutes.

Courtroom watching is not my thing. I can't say I'll never go again, but it's not something I hope to do in what little spare time I have, either.

the gift of mercy

I have been weighed and found wanting. (No, certainly not on the physical scales!)

Several years ago Bobby got two puppies as an early birthday present. One of them was injured when we came home one night, though I'm not sure how. I took the pup to the vet, fully expecting them to put it to sleep. Instead, I came home with a 6 week old puppy that had a cast on its right front leg and a cast on the back left leg, along with instructions to keep the dog inside. If there's one thing my mother instilled in me, it's the principle that animals are outdoor animals (with an exception of goldfish). I shocked myself by putting the pup in the laundry room, and during the day I would even let him hang out in the kitchen. Week one was okay. Week number two he became a horrible toddler. When I closed the door to the laundry room to go to the grocery store, he went crazy. He peed on his cast. I came home to the screen on the window totally shredded. At night, he would howl until I got up to check on him. The minute I left the room, he would start back. And of course, the other adult in our household could actually sleep through it. Since the dogs often slept with the cat we had at the time, I tried letting him sleep by the garage door. He would howl and the cat would meow. So stupid me let the cat in thinking they would both calm down. It worked long enough for me to go to sleep, then wake up to a crashing in the living room. They tumped over a table, two plants, and scratched/shredded the couch. I was livid. The cat went outside, the dog got locked in the laundry room, and we went back to the vet the next day. She gave me a syringe holder and told me to fill it full of children's benadryl and squirt it in the dog's mouth about 30 minutes before I wanted to go to bed. It worked. A year later, that dog became the craziest dog we ever had. Bobby claims it was the Benadryl. We eventually had to put him on a runner (he had a crazy fascination for anything on wheels, from Bobby's chair to the lawn mower), which he eventually broke and ran away. I must confess I never once looked for him nor mourned him. On Bobby's birthday when he called me from work to inform that he didn't see the other pup and accidentally backed over him and I needed to bury him, I laughed. (This was the pup that put holes in EVERY SINGLE PAIR of hose I owned from nipping at my ankles.)

So when a friend of ours talks about taking a gosling and wrapping it up to make sure its warm and holding it in the bed, it's almost as if she's talking about caring for an extra-terrestial. I just don't get it.

I would like to assure friends (such as Rich) that when it comes to people I am much better. But I can't. I am some better, but some people like my husband claim I am missing the gift of mercy. When his close friend had prostrate cancer, he would call Bobby several times a day to review his symptoms and his "problems". It was starting to become a slight problem, and one day he needed to talk while Bobby was in a meeting at work. So he called the house, hoping that Bobby was out of the office and maybe home sick. I listened to him for about thirty minutes, then offered what I thought was encouragement.

One of his symptoms from the treatments was swelling in the legs. He had no pain nor discomfort, they just looked bad. So being the merciful, kind person that I am, I told him about my Mom's melanoma and how that leg stayed swollen and would for the rest of her life, but how she was able to do most everything she wanted to do. And I told him that Bobby, due to his paralysis, has swollen feet every night and we have to elevate his legs during the night (and sometimes during the day) and it's just one of those things we have to live with. It's not pretty, but as long as there's no pain involved, we've got a lot to be thankful for. He quickly got off the phone, and didn't call either one of us for at least two weeks. When Bobby was surprised he hadn't heard from him in a while, I told him about the abrupt end to our conversation. A relative of mine heard about it, and asked me why I didn't just tell the man to go jump off a bridge.

I was horrified. This man had an unpleasant, but manageable problem. I shared of people who are going through the same thing and have positive, active lives. What is so unmerciful about that?

So for my dear friend Hippo the Magnificent, should you get sick I won't discuss euthanasia with you. I will make you chicken soup and bite my tongue lest I attempt to join your wife in offering you encouragement that things aren't all that bad. I won't even tell you about the tombstone where the man had engraved "I told you I was sick." on it. I will use what little mercy I have in me and buy a card. Just hope my husband is with me when I pick it out.

And for those of you wondering "What on earth?" we've had two families in our church lose dear pets in the last two weeks, prompting conversations about animals in heaven, and the merciless comforting the comfortless. Or as our Pastor so bluntly put it to a ten year old girl, "For an animal, it's not in heaven. It's just in the ground."