taking a pause

I still have two more Richmond posts to write, but today my heart and thoughts are in Asia. I guess by now everyone has seen the reports on social media coming from North and South Korea.

Sometimes it seems that I focus on trivial matters in the Christian world - how to get silly boys to listen in class at church, how to respond lovingly but truthfully to hostile comments on FB, how to find balance between people always needing/wanting something and living my own life...and these 33 people are facing the ends of their lives just for living out their faith. What would be the first thoughts on my mind in the morning if I lived in North Korea?  Would I wrestle with the reality of never getting a break from being a caregiver the first 1.5 hours of every morning, or would I wrestle more with whether or not my husband and I should continue having devotions (even owning a Bible in NK is grounds for a lifetime of imprisonment, if not execution)?  A simple act that I take for granted every single morning in North Korea is an act of defiance and a blatant declaration that Jesus is more than their Savior but their Soveriegn LORD...higher than even Kim Jung Un.

I spend my days wondering how and what I can fit in my schedule (and some days like last week dealing with unexpected surprises from UPS that Buster dismantled into the mud while we were gone and I missed church cleaning up those medical supplies) while these people are probably wondering if and how they'll get the chance to say good-bye to their loved ones.

It really puts things into perspective.  My prayer is that every soul who heard the Gospel from these 33 believers will allow the seed to take root, and that King Jong Un will find the execution spark he has ignited will start a fire he cannot quench. I pray their families will find comfort during this time of grief, when they cannot openly grieve for their "criminal" family members, and that neighbors will not socially ostracize them but will support and encourage them during the difficult months ahead.  And may I be grateful for the freedoms that I truly have.

searching

Last Wednesday night our church looked at Psalm 139. I've read and known many of these verses most of my life, but have never really broken them down into a contextual analysis. Needless to say, those verses have been on my mind A LOT since this past Wednesday.

A few of the reality checks that brought them back to mind: a blog friend who is fighting cancer mentioned that one of her Thanksgiving praises was also her Christmas wish: more time with her family.

And yesterday, I received an update on a fellow believer, an imprisoned pastor. He was thankful for being allowed an extra 5 minutes every month with his wife. Instead of the allotted 15 minutes a month, the guard was letting him have 20. And this past month, they let him see his wife and small child from behind bars where he could actually semi-hug his son instead of only seeing them through glass. And why is he in jail? He preached and practiced God's Word in a land where it is illegal.

So in the midst of the craziness in this holiday season, while I'm fighting headaches and more pain than usual, these were very poignant reminders of just how quickly and easily my priorities can slip out of focus.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.

this Christmas

This Christmas I pray for a Christian brother imprisoned for the crime of being a Christian, for his case which has unexpectedly come up for review to be handled in a fair and just manner, that he will be granted access to his lawyer and for his lawyer to be granted access to his records. I pray for his young wife, that she will be strengthened, and for his two young boys, that God will become very real to them during this time that they are grieving not having their Dad at home and are questioning why a just God would allow his servant to be taken and tortured. I pray this young pastor will find some sustenance and comfort in the days ahead, and that should it be God's will, he will be reunited with his family by Christmas.

perspective

I finished reading a children's book "Boy in the Striped Pajamas" this morning, a middle-grade historical fiction that has a unique point of view on the holocaust. As always, the book and the movie have large differences, but the main plot sticks to the same premise.

Nothing like something as horrific as the Holocaust can help slap your priorities into place.  I am such a spoiled brat.  Here am I aggravated because this stupid cold makes it difficult to breathe and our phones and internet are out for day 6 of this month, when I am living in the land of the free.  I have a Christian brother about my age in prison in China who has been sentenced to 25-30 years, essentially a life sentence, and whose fifteen year old son and wife are struggling to get by without his income.  He is denied the opportunity to appeal, usually denied his monthly visits by his wife and attorney, and I complain because I have a cold.

I don't understand the horrors of war, of hate, and of ignorance, and probably never will fully grasp the hows and whys this side of heaven.  I sometimes question in my heart the Old Testament teachings that were comparable to the holocaust and other such modern genocides, and wonder what this God I serve truly thinks about such matters.  I cling to the promise from Psalm 116:15 that the death of the saints is precious in the sight of the Lord, but still ponder why death for His saints in most of the world must be so horrific.

So now I'm struggling to put my thoughts on things that are good and truth and just and lovely and of good report, and not on the depraved, unchangeable past.  May my heart be renewed and revived, may I willingly choose to stand for what is right and good, not matter the cost.  And the wimp inside whispers, "and may I never have to suffer for it."  Stoic, I'm not.

shocking

If I entered over 50 countries in this world today and lived life as I know it, I would be a criminal.
That's a very sobering thought.
The newspaper had an article about Christians in Indonesia this past week, and how they are being slaughtered in certain cities because of the mass baptisms they had. Almost every year, a few months after the Family Fun Fest, our church has a baptism service celebrating the new believers. Can you imagine if one week after that baptism service took place, over half of the people who attended were dead, and the other half severely injured?
During our Patriotic Service Sunday, our pastor prayed for the leaders of our country, for God to be with them, and for them to have their eyes opened to who God truly is. Can you imagine the horror if this week we had the police behind the pulpit, Pastor Mike in prison with visitation rights from family and lawyer denied, his family kicked out of their home and suddenly without income?
Such things sound absolutely crazy, and yet they happen weekly all over the world.

I implore you to pray for such believers today, specifically for one certain pastor and his family:

• that the government officials would miraculously release him from prison soon
  
• that his wife and lawyer would be able to see him
• that God would give him favor with prison officials
• that his faith would remain strong
• that his 15 year old son would not remain bitter and would come to find the "Peace that passes understanding"
• that God would miraculously provide for the family's needs
• that God would not cause this family to lose favor in society
• that the shining light this family has maintained will draw even more believers to the Light of the World

I don't understand. I live in the land of plenty, the land of freedom, and the land of opportunity. And folks who do the exact same things I do, with half the resources and time, go to jail for it.

Oh, Lord, please forgive me for my complaining, when so many of brothers and sisters around the world are suffering so badly.

www.persecutedchurch.org