a lot of mixed emotions

Today Governor Cooper announced that North Carolina's stay at home order will not end with April's calendar but will extend until May 8th. Even then, if things continue to improve, not everything will open at all once but in gradual steps.

The pros & cons of all of this:

• The health care system will not be overwhelmed and they can continue to acquire medical supplies for those treating the virus. The health system may be somewhat strained, but when nurses at hospitals are not working full shifts and many offices are closed, it is hard to say they are overwhelmed. There are many people who need treatment or care but are not getting it because doctors are not opening their offices. Those who do seek care are treated in a crazy manner if they have a fever, even though multitudes of things cause a fever, not just this virus.
• People who have the virus but aren't showing symptoms won't continue to expose wide ranges of people to the virus. Watching people at the grocery store and the produce center is enough to convince me that people will not/are not social distancing on their own. Only people suspected of having the virus are being tested so there is no way to know who has it, who is immune to it, and who may or may not come down with it. We don't live in fear and radically alter our lives during flu season even though many people do not get vaccinated, so why are we panicking so much over this?
• Small businesses that can't afford the extra cost of social distancing and constant cleaning to protect themselves and their clients aren't open. Some small businesses are doing curbside pickup or deliveries only because there is no way to pay the salaries of all the employees necessary to clean behind the public and limit the number of customers. It's financially not feasible to open. Others are willing to take the risk, but that leads us back to point number one.
• Nay sayers have a command to practice common sense. It all comes back to the age old question, "What is the role of government?"  If it is to protect the health and welfare of the public, then to some degree this is answer. (but not totally...see point one). If people are truly free to do as they wish, open their business as they will etc, and the general public is truly concerned about the spread of this virus, then they will choose to stay home and the deterioration of the economy will still happen but it won't be because of a government mandate.  But it also leads back to the pro of the first point.

From social media I know that I have four former co-workers who have the virus. And from what I know of these men and their lifestyles, for them to be admitted to the hospital for several days, or treated and sent home only to return a week or two later, this virus is no joke. Three of the four are my age and are not in the high risk category. One of the men's teenage son posted that on the morning his Dad went to the hospital he was truly scared for his Dad's life.

I know of four people who have lost loved ones during this pandemic (all four non-virus related), and none of them have been able to hold a funeral. That's not right. That's emotional cruelty.

And I know someone in a nursing home. She is hard of hearing and very forgetful. She keeps getting in trouble for leaving her room. While she doesn't usually have many visitors, she does enjoy getting together with her friends living near her for game time. She is now deprived of her only social interaction. That is cruel.

In Alabama, my friend Misty has a benign brain tumor that cannot be removed because it is deemed a "non-essential" surgery. My aunt cannot have her shoulder cuff repaired, even though she cannot lift her hand above her waist or pick up anything with her arm. The hospital says it is not an essential surgery. In TN a friend from college was not able to see his optometrist even though as a diabetic he should be seen immediately if his eyesight changes.  And I've heard from many people here in NC who have been unable to see doctors about issues. I'm so thankful a nurse took Bobby's situation seriously last week and advocated for him with a doctor so he could be treated. I was thankful a surgeon saw him today to remove the drain and allowed me in to ask questions. But I am a tad bit concerned about the fact that whether or not he is seen in a month for the follow-up is up to us. If we see certain things then we go back; if we don't, we can call and say everything is good. They want to limit the number of patients coming in. And while I think I can handle that, I am neither a nurse nor a doctor. What if I think things are okay and they're really not? When we are sacrificing the healthcare of so many to make sure we have the capabilities of treating the ones who "might" get sick, is that healthcare?  Should we not simply have larger hospitals or plans in place to handle high volume times instead of refusing to treat people with serious needs? At what point is avoiding preventative care inviting problems in the future? Is refusing to treat a patient when you have the facility and the ability not a violation of the doctor's oath?

I understand there are places where the volume is so overwhelming that hospitals cannot handle it. But here in NC, the state has over 9,000 hospital beds and less than 500 people hospitalized with the virus. Where is the overrun?

I know from working the elections that people not familiar with the process often make comments that we are overstaffed or not doing our jobs. I remember the year when in my training cycle I questioned my trainer why I could not open certain spots up for voters. Her answer was that if we did, then those stations would not be in available to do their job when needed. I didn't reply, but I was thinking those spots had not been used all day. But sure enough, ten minutes later every single one of those stations I had wanted to use all had a line for their designated tasks. What we saw and observed at the hospital last week might not be the whole picture. I would never want to overwhelm the doctors and nurses who are helping those in need. But I can't help but wonder if there is not a better way.

I will probably be withdrawing from Facebook quite a bit the next few days. There were way too many mean-spirited and disrespectful, if not hateful, posts today after the press conference. Whether or not I voted for our Governor is irrelevant. Whether or not I agree with his policies is not the issue. He is our elected official, and if we as Christians truly believe that God raises up and demotes our rulers, then he is due our respect whether we like him or not. He is a created being of God and our leader, and we are subject to our government.

And at this point...it's only one extra week. For now.

butter bellybuttons

First, there's an update on  the Quilt page.

But my main post for today resulted in my husband giving me one of those very strange looks.
I opened a new container of butter this week. That always brings back a ton of memories.

You know how kids fight over everything?

This always resulted in a small spat in our house.

I always scooped around the belly button. At least one of my sisters scooped it out first thing.  But there was one time, without anything being said, everyone seemed to join me in scooping around it. And then came the fateful day when that one sister opened the lid to butter the toast and said "Who left the bubble in the middle?" and immediately scooped it out. I was aghast. Dad declared our argument petty and silly. I laugh about it now and sometimes wonder if God sees the things I get so bent out of shape about as an adult as trivial as the belly button in a bowl of butter.

And now? I scraped around the sides about a spoon deep before attacking the belly button. :) Some things just never change.

overthinking

I'm one of those crazy people who sometime over-think things.

Today was my first day of conducting a training session, and I went a little long (meaning we had to eliminate the last exercise) so tomorrow I need to watch time as I talk and not answer so many questions during exercise time.

Sometimes during feedback (whether after a session or during the trial one) someone will review things for 5 minutes, and one phrase will stick with me the next few days as I ponder "What did they mean by that?"  Sometimes it's something totally innocuous; but I can't help but wonder if the speaker was implying I crossed a line or talk too much or if they were politely telling me to get my act together.

Despite my self-absorption (Let's be honest - that kind of stuff is really nothing but selfishness and pride), I'm mostly enjoying this process. I was exceptionally nervous before we started today, but once we got going, it was awesome. I don't think I would want to do this all day long or lecture for a living, but I enjoy being with people who truly care about the process of voting and want to do a good job.

precinct supplies being packed for election day delivery

I will say the more I work with Wake county Board of Elections and the more I learn, the more impressed I am. Wake BOE is truly a very well-oiled machine that operates efficiently. Yes, any time humans do things there are mistakes, but overall I have been blown away with how detailed and customer-service oriented this government group is. I love how they listen to feedback from their poll workers, and how they train workers (even if it often seems like overkill) and then check up on them to make sure procedures are being followed.

Hopefully tomorrow I won't be so long-winded. I know I won't be able to hold and use both the clicker and the laser pointer at the same time, so I'm no longer stressing over that. I'm just not wired that way. But I hope my training sticks, and that this will be an election where coordinators are rubbing their necks and saying "What am I missing?" because everything seems to be so meticulously in order.

not for me

While shopping Monday (yeah, you can tell I've not been "out" in a while), I saw something that totally baffled me, but it also made my head turn - metal dishes in the high dollar section of Belks.

The brand name is Wilton Armetale, and according to the website, it's an "alternative metal" that you can take from the fridge to the stove to the table. What caught my eye, not shown online or in this picture, was their egg platter.  I cannot even begin to fathom going to all the trouble of making deviled eggs, only to put them on a metal platter. I'd use a flat dish where the eggs slide around all over the place before I resorted to metal.

I suppose for people who like the look of silver but hate polishing silver this would be a nice alternative. I imagine that people who are wanting the antique look would find this very fitting in their kitchen, as it does look quite cheap in real life. I don't know if it's dishwasher safe. I can think of several ladies who could buy this and use it in their homes and I would walk in and think "Wow. This looks nice."  Of course, those same ladies can also make burlap look nice.  Go figure.

But I'm not one of them. And even if I did like this and it wasn't out of my price range, if I tried to use it, people would come in and think "Mm.  She's mixing Dollar Tree and Belks again.  Poor gal has no fashion sense whatsoever."  They would never realize these cheap looking dishes ARE Belk dishes.  I just don't have that knack for decorating.

I did see some dishes that I really liked. I told Bobby if we were getting married now and having to register for stuff all over again, those would be the dishes we'd go with (as opposed to what we have, which I still like very much). I'll post those tomorrow. But even those dishes would make my poor mother shake her head and sigh "ohhh Ruthie, no."

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.

hurtful thoughts

Four summers in a row we upended our lives and brought three foster kids from a Belarussian orphanage to live with us. It was hard. It was fun. It was heartbreaking. It was fulfilling. It was exhausting.

As we've joined countless other Americans watching footage of all the illegal immigrant children now in our country who have overwhelmed the processing centers and the border offices, I once again checked into being a foster parent, wanting to specifically request some of these kids. Mikalai's words still ring in my ears: You have a big house with no kids. We're kids with no family. Why can't we stay here?

And I want it to be that simple.  I wish there was no such thing as red tape and regulations and home studies and fire inspections and laws...just simple supply and demand. It makes me angry that any Susy Q can become a Mom, but for me to adopt or foster I must attend parenting classes, have every inch of my home and personal life invaded, submit to a physical and countless interviews, fill out reams of paperwork, have a background check and a fire chief come inspect my home, and in North Carolina for fostering we'd have to include little fire escape route exit charts for each bedroom (you know, toddlers and primary age children really read those), and then I can only put only child in a bedroom. It doesn't matter that Henrietta has five children and lives in a two bedroom house and that we've requested a sibling group, we're still only allowed one child per bedroom. 

So kids will continue sleeping on floors and in cars, and our bedrooms will remain empty because someone deemed themselves authority they do not deserve and mandated ridiculous requirements. (And yes, I know there is a reason for those requirements and deep down I somewhat understand, but it's still overkill.)

And as I listen to all my conservative friends who are supposed to show mercy and compassion to the downtrodden and remember "how this country was founded", I'm reminded of how this nation was formed of immigrants and unwanted, so much so that we mounted this poem at the entry port to welcome people:

New Colossus  by Emma Lazarus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

And now this country that was once a "light set on a hill" says no to women and children who are sick with TB and scabies, who come from countries torn apart by drug wars and risk dying just to get here to this land of promise, and we with our huges houses that has empty beds and bedrooms and pantries loaded with food say "We can't afford you. Go back."

When President Nixon criticized Chinese leaders for not allowing people to leave their country, their response was, "If we open the doors for anyone to leave, will you open your doors to let the flood come in?"  And according to my Chinese students, that was the end of the conversation.

I do think rules should be followed. But there should also be a humanitarian factor in place, as well as some common sense that exists (unlike some of our foster parenting rules).

We reap what we sow, and if you sow your seed correctly, the harvest is always greater than the planting.


Mikalai's words still ring in our empty house: You have a big house with no kids. We're kids with no family. Why can't we stay here?

one of my weird thoughts

The other night while watching the Olympics, a competitor told an reporter that she was competing for/because of her grandmother who had passed away in December. I can understand dedicating a performance in memory of someone, but to say you're doing something because of someone's recent death when you've been training for years seems more than a little odd to me. I may be the only person who thinks that way, but it almost seems to minimalize their training.

opinions and placement

The more I learn about quilting, the more I learn there is to know.
Along this quilting journey, I've learned that there are many opinions.
Early on, I quilted what I knew (ie, the way my Grandma did).
One lady snobbishly informed that was NOT the way to quilt.
Since then, I've learned the phrase "stitch in the ditch" and what the experts consider to be quilting.

Stitch in the ditch is where the quilting seam is found in seams (not outside the seams) of  the top layer.
Photo from www.tqn.com

And then yesterday, I saw photos of quilts made 150 years ago. They can be seen here.
Of the thirty quilts in the exhibit, NOT ONE used stitch-in-the-ditch with straight stitches.
A few had decorative stitch-in-the-ditch quilting, but most used a 1/4" straight stitch inside the pieced material, just like my Grandma did.



This photo does NOT use stitch-in-the-ditch, but places the stitches inside the square and not on the seams.



I suppose it really comes down to preference: what one likes, the amount of time you have, what look you want the quilt to have, and whether you view the quilt as a piece of artwork or a household item to be used.I would have never guessed that quilting would be an area where women would impose their arrogance and snobbery, but like any other hobby or craft area, it is. And I'm coming to grips with the fact that it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks (other than my husband and the person I'm quilting for). As long as I enjoy the process and make a quilt that won't come apart when washed, I'll be happy.

And in case you're wondering, I prefer my Grandma's method for puffy looks, when short on time, or when wanting to emphasize a certain color or design. If I want something to look seamless on top, have a modern look, or place the emphasis on the piecing and not the quilting, then stitch-in-the ditch is the way to go.  But I recognize that's my opinion and preference, and if you disagree, I'll still think your quilt and quilting is something to ooh and aah over.

Hard to believe

Last night we were counting days, and it shocked me a little to realize in less than 50 days Bobby will be retired. It seems unreal, exciting, and scary all at the same time. I know life will be very different for both of us once that actually happens, but with some of the health issues he's faced the last year, I think it's time.
So this week his office is conducting interviews to find his replacement. I've never sat through a lot of interviews in my life, so I can't say what is a common question or proper response. But I think I can honestly say I would never intentionally criticize or offend people on the interview committee. To me that seems counter-productive. Maybe it's because I've only worked in one office environment so I don't understand the brutal opinions bantered around, but somehow I can't see offering a critical opinion on future co-workers/supervisors as a way to gain favor when seeking employment. I imagine that interviewee would probably think of me as a mouse or a doormat, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense in my way of thinking.
Meanwhile, sometime in the next 7 weeks, we've got an office to clean out, pack up, and unpack at home. And the ride begins...

pondering responsibility

I know I'm more than a little cynical about many things in life. But lately I've been hearing stories that make me wonder if I'm truly cynical or just realistic.

In high school, my parents were not band groupies.  They got to see me perform in the band about three times a year. One was during marching band season. Parents of band members were required to work the concession stands twice a year (and they got in to the game free since they didn't actually get to see the game).  Always during one of those times, other band booster parents would graciously send my Mom out during one of the busiest times so she could see my sister and I perform. The remainder of the season, there was simply no money for them to attend a ballgame.  And our Christmas and spring concerts were free. :)

Sometimes it bothered me a little that my parents couldn't be there, but I knew my parents cared. They would always ask how things went as soon as I got home and they made it a point to let us know they were interested in our lives.

So I'm startled quite a bit to see that parents of Olympians are facing foreclosures of homes and bancruptcy, yet they have the  money to travel across the ocean, pay a hotel fee as well as food costs, and buy tickets to get into venues to watch their child participate in a sport that they have been paying a wad of money for them to learn. There just seems to be a very skewed priority order here. I can pay for my child to live with a strange family in another state, pay top dollar for them to study under one of the best coaches in the nation, as well as buy expensive uniforms, but I can't pay own personal bills, such as a house and car payment.  Am I the only one who is greatly bothered by all this?

I recognize the Olympics are so much more important than any high school band concert or performance. I understand that I don't totally comprehend the parent/child bond, but I do know there are things children need to be taught. One of those things is fiscal responsibility, and how better to teach someone a lesson than to model it for them?

I just found these two stories a very sad reflection on life in spoiled America. We no longer seem to understand what is a need and what is a want. It wasn't that many years ago that parents didn't accompany children to the Olympics. I find it hard to believe they loved their children any less. I'm certain they hated to miss the events, but would have been humiliated to go and then come home and be homeless. We may be winning the medal count, but we're losing on the home front.

juke

A juke is a football term, meaning a player makes a move intended to deceive (an opponent).  In other words, if you have the foot ball and move like you're going to run to one side of the field and then abruptly run to the other side, you have juked the other team.

I first heard this word over the weekend, courtesy of my niece, who introduced me to the term "Jesus juke".  I had to google it to find out what it was, and the more I read the more bothered I became. It's basically when someone hijacks a non-spiritual conversation and makes it spiritual. The examples given were quite abrupt, in my opinion more than a little rude and insensitive, and made me think of  Proverbs 25:11 "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver."

I'm certainly not one to handle social occasions with finesse, and that's probably why I'd just as soon avoid them altogether. But life cannot be avoided, meaning invariably I find myself struggling. Once I was accosted by that person on a bandwagon and I desperately scanned the room for someone else nearby so I could excuse myself. She called me on it. I was already fighting the anger inside, but later I realized she had a point. Just because I found her rude in coversation choice didn't mean my response had to be rude as well. It might make sense by today's standards, but not by God's. I'm called to be kind and tenderhearted, even when I want to snarly reply "You have NO idea what you're talking about it, this is personal for us and I really wish you'd quit bringing this subject matter up every time you see me."

And I think that's why I struggle with the whole Jesus juking terminology. Such comments are made for a variety of reasons: an awkward attempt to fit into a conversation, the original comment actually revived something hearer had been thinking about a LOT lately, that person is truly concerned and is fulfilling the command to rebuke in love, the comment was not a juke but because it convicted you it made you angry, OR that person has simply not learned the rich art of communication.

I am the poster child for words NOT fitly spoken. It's an area I have struggled with all my life and probably will continue to fight until the day I die. Hearing or reading other Christians mocking fellow belivers for their communication skills (or lack thereof) makes the immature child in me want to stay away from even Christian circles or forums. There's simply no love displayed by either part, the hearer nor the speaker.  It's odd that Christ told us "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35) and yet our very conversation is unloving. Or should I say "juked"?

this just makes me laugh

A quilt shop sent this in their newsletter today:

Advice from a 1949 Singer Sewing Manual

"Prepare yourself mentally for sewing. Think about what you are going to do. . . never approach sewing with a sigh or lackadaisically. Good results are difficult when indifference predominates. Never try to sew with a sink full of dirty dishes or beds unmade. When there are urgent housekeeping chores, do these first so your mind is free to enjoy your sewing. . .When you sew, make yourself as attractive as possible. Put on a clean dress. Keep a little bag full of French chalk near your sewing machine to dust your fingers at intervals. Have your hair in order, powder and lipstick put on . . .[If] you are constantly fearful that a visitor will drop in or your husband will come home and you will not look neatly put together, you will not enjoy your sewing as you should."

Say WHAT? So little did those writers know. :)

a tough row to hoe

We take so much for granted.

The last few years we've heard a lot about teenagers, kids actually, who have faced so much more than any child should have to face by the time they reach 18.

Some of them are in foster care. Others are in group homes. Either way, at age 18, state funding stops. A few of the lucky ones are allowed to stay on with their foster parents, but most either don't or can't.

Can you imagine graduating from high school and suddenly facing life with no finances, no car, and becoming responsible for everything - a place to live, a vehicle, food, living expenses - on a high school diploma? Most of them attempt to attend a community college, but the completion rate for such students is very low.

There's no loving Mom & Dad to send a care package when the semester gets tough. No card with a check in the mail from a concerned person in your home church. When that car breaks down? There's no Dad to come fix it while you drive his to your part-time job.  And when illness strikes 4 months into your first semester? There's no Mom to bring you home to see your family's general practitioner, nor help you make a decision about sitting out the next semester or hanging tough. School loan? There's no one to co-sign or back you up.

Every year as I hear these stories, my heart breaks for kids like this.

I had the privilege of attending a private, Christian college. One of the girls I worked with in the cafeteria was from a children's home. She was one of the sweetest, hard-working, and devout believers I met during my four years. Had it not been for the South Carolina churches and women's group helping out, there's no way she could have made it through. But for me, one of the saddest things to witness was watching her search for "home" during the holidays. The directors of her home allowed her to stay in their personal house with them since she was no longer eligible to stay in home dorms. I know how difficult it was for me for my parents to move while I was overseas and come home to a strange place, but I cannot imagine the void of wanting to go home for spring break or winter holidays and there simply be no definite place or people to go home to.

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. James 1:26-27

Not sure what the answers are, but we're praying for a young man who is desperately praying for scholarships so he can attend a pharmacy program at a state university. He's being realistic and has applied and been accepted at a local community college in case the funds don't come through for his dream. He's also working and saving money now for the months ahead when he's on his own. If he doesn't receive positive word in the next month, I may ask you to join me in praying about how you can sacrificially help this young man who has a dream, but no parents to help him fulfill it. Some days it seems everywhere you turn someone is asking for money. Wouldn't it seem worthwhile to help someone who's NOT asking for it but clearly needs it?

reflecting

When I was 14, I got very sick at church camp one year.  Sick enough that I was allowed to miss services and all activities.  One afternoon while in and out of sleep, two counselors came in and were talking. They must have checked on me at one point, because I don't remember them coming in, only their low voices. Initially they were discussing the normal pastor wives/mom topics, but then they got on the subject of the future of the church. One of the ladies, whom I greatly admired, said her husband believed (and bear in mind this was almost 25 years ago) that the day was coming when the church would be persecuted in America for its stand on homosexuality, and that the church would have to choose whether or not to remain publicly recognized or go underground. I wasn't even sure what homosexuality was!  When I told my Mom about it a few weeks later,she sighed and said, "No, I don't see that.  I hope not."

Today, as I see more and more billboards going up equating religion with bigotry and then saw the picture in today's newspaper about the upcoming campaigns for the NC Constitutional Amendment and read the President's comments about homosexual marriage, I fear that pastor's predictions may come true within my lifetime.

The scary thing to me is that I know more and more people who profess to be Christians but who are openly practicing homosexuality. Thankfully many of the churches have dealt with the issue and situation, but there are just as many who call themselves Bible-believing who have not.

Several years ago the Christian Law Association ran an article that today's churches and their failure to follow Biblical mandates have made it very hard for them to defend this issue on religious grounds and the freedom of religion. So many churches have not disciplined families for divorce on non-biblical grounds, so we've failed to uphold our own beliefs about the sanctity of marriage. That's one area where Protestants can learn from the Catholics: they are unwavering in their requirements for marriage and divorce.

These past few days, I've kept going back to Joshua's saying to the nation of Israel: "Choose today who you are going to serve."  As our state now embarks on a multi-million dollar fight before the November 2012 election to decide how we will define a marriage in our state constitution, it is time we decide where we stand.

"All that it takes for for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing."

perceptions

Three ladies from the gym took a trip to England back in May. This morning I actually had a chance to ask them what they liked and saw. One of their reactions was similar to my Mother's when we toured Montgomery: excessive waste.

I guess for some reason I expect governments to have large opulent buildings. It seems everywhere I've been they do: China, Ivory Coast, DC, Raleigh. Granted, some are more extravagant than others, but it seems the capitol and government buildings are always well crafted and ornate. My mother was mortified. Why are we wasting so much tax payer money on huge buildings when smaller ones would suffice? Why does the old capitol not used any more? And if we truly did outgrow, then why not use the empty spaces for offices or classrooms instead of building more schools? (At that one I could hear historians gasping and clutching their hearts.) I understand where she's coming from, but there's a small part of them that appreciates the fact we can have something nice to represent us.

Evidently, in London there is a Victorian Museum that showcases many of the royalty jewels. The ladies reaction was very similar to my Mother's. Why do they need so many diamonds and jewels? Wouldn't one or two tiara's suffice? Just how much jewelry and wealth does the royal family truly need? Don't they realize there are hungry people in their country?

Sell all you have and give to the poor.  It was a command Christ gave to a seeker. Honestly and realistically, I'm not sure I could do it. I enjoy sharing much of what I have, but there are also times selfishness is not a problem for me. Why should I share with someone who doesn't work and forfeit a vacation?  I watch people who are asking for handouts and assistance taking trips they can't afford and buying things they don't really need. And it makes me wonder, where some of those jewels or opulence of governmental leaders gifts from people? I wouldn't normally get rid of a gift someone gave me. Even if they sold the jewels or buildings and bought food or housing for the poor, how long would it be before the ones the benefacted be right back in the exact some spot? Or decided what they had been given or loaned, suddenly wasn't good enough for them?

I don't think I could live an excessively extravagant lifestyle (many people think I do because we eat out once a week and have a big house for 2 people). But I also struggle with knowing how much to share with the poor, and where the line is between enabling and helping.  I remember clearly what it was like to get up at 5am to get ready for work in the school cafeteria, rush to class, then rush to be a nanny, then rush to Taco Bell to work another 3 hours, then study until midnight. Those were hard days I don't want to repeat again. I remember watching the girls who didn't have to work goofing off in the library or student center, and wondering what it would be like. I agree with Louisa Mae Alcott, that the poor are always with us, and just as Christ wasn't opposed to expensive perfume being poured on him, sometimes I think it's okay to splurge a little. Sometimes.

flexitarians

I guess I'm just a square kind of girl.  You can have a square with slightly rounded edges, but if you round off too much then you're no longer a square. And a circle can be smushed or stretched into an oval, but it can never become a square no matter how much you dismember it because it has no edges. That's just the way it is.

So imagine my shock and consternation to read an article in last week's paper about the "vegetarian" dilemma.  Evidently there are many people who prefer to eat a vegetarian diet, but will occasionally eat meat (whether because they just want to, they can't afford to eat meat all the time, etc).  And you know, what? That's fine with me. But evidently it's created quite a problem in the vegetarian camp. Eat meat? Don't use the vegetarian label.  But the "I eat veggies 98% of the time" proclaim "Not so fast." They've named themselves flexitarians.

My first thought on reading this article was "Who cares?" But then I got to thinking about all the people who call themselves Christians but then proclaim they don't think Christ is the only way  to heaven. That kind of falls in the same category as "I don't meat except when I want to" group.  Or, I'm a ____ fan, but I can't name their coach or two players on the team. (Yes, my niece is still perturbed with me over that one!)

I find it interesting that we desire to belong to a group, and then our rebellious sin nature takes over. Instead of leaving the group or admitting we appreciate characteristics of the group but don't really adhere to its core elements, we try to change the group. "Oh, I'm a vegetarian, which means non-meat eater, but I'll eat fish and chicken once a month and a hamburger on my birthday."  Vegetarian?  Nah. That circle has some funky-sounded edges to me.  Or how about "I'm a Christian, but I don't believe Christ's statement that He is the only way and truth, and I don't agree with His statement that if I love God I'll keep His commandments."  A Christ-follower?  Nah.  That square has no edges.

So let the groupies use the term "flexitarian".  It simply means a gel-filled blob.  They can mesh to fit into any geometric shape possible.  Square today, circle tomorrow. Just watch out for the goop. It tends to leave a mess with any group it adheres to.

beauty and beholders

Someone (Sara, Lydia?) introduced us to this blog "Better After".  They take pictures of old objects, or rooms, then photos of the object or room after it has received a makeover.  Many times I'm amazed at the creativity people display.  Other times I'm horrified at what they've done to antique pieces.  And sometimes I admire the work they've put into their makeover, but really dislike the finished project.

And that's the thing I like the most about having my own home.  It's mine.  I can decorate with blue and yellow, have wagon wheel lamps and bear end tables, and have a cartoonish farm theme in the guest bathroom and absolutely LOVE it.  My mother comes and cringes.  My mother-in-law raises an eyebrow and semi-smiles while she looks around. And I just feel content at home.

I've been in some homes where I love the look and feel, but doubt I could every pull the color scheme off here in my house.  I'd feel like an imposer.

I won't like every make over shown on Better After.  They would probably hate my home if they saw it.  But that's as it should be.  Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.  

playing with matches

Not exactly sure who ranks the highest in stupidity these days:

1. The church in Florida who is paying money to buy Korans to burn in memory of 9/11 (Our church could use some dough for a building fund; I know several missionaries who are in need of money to keep their works going; There are tons of orphans all around the world who need assistance; we've got a national debt; and this church is using their money just to turn around and burn it?!)
2. The media - If they simply ignored this story instead of filing it under their Muslim discrimination thread, most people would shrug and say, "yeah, those people are a little crazy/creepy" and go on about their life. People overseas would most likely never ever hear about it, hence our troops in Afghanistan and aid workers in Muslim countries would not have to fear the repercussions. So what does the brilliant American media do?  Give them plenty of free advertising and coverage.
3. Our liberal politicians - Stupid is as stupid does.  They obviously don't know the Proverb "answer not a fool according to his folly." and help fuel the flames by issuing condemnations, pleas, rebukes, and other such carbon monoxide into the already dense atmosphere.
4. Nazi screamers - It always puzzles me a bit to hear anyone compare book/CD/magazine/bra burning to the Nazis.  The Nazis went into people's homes, forcibly took their books and music, and torched them in the streets.  Americans go to the store, pay their own money for the books and music, then burn them on their own property.  Minor details, but details that totally change the slant of the story.  And yes, I know (or at least have never heard of) the German Nazi's burning bras, but it fit in the list of things people have burned in the past. :)

So what will you do to commemorate 9/11?

clothesline

One of my childhood memories is helping Mom with laundry. On spring days that meant handing her items as she pinned things to the clotheslines. It also meant everyone making a mad dash outside when the unexpected thunderstorm came up to snatch things off the line as quickly as you could, and the next day re-positioning springs in the clothespins. And of course, when the dryer was used, our job was to fold the clothes.

Someone sent me an article link today about the pros and cons of line-drying. They discussed bacteria (the heat from clothes dryers will kill quite a bit whereas line drying does not), wrinkles, environmental issues, and spatial issues. But here's things they didn't mention that I found to be a problem as a child:

1. Bird poop - There's nothing more disgusting than taking down a "clean" item only to find it marred with bird manure. Or even worse, having it splattered on you as a bird arrives/departs from the tree holding the line.
2. Pets - Dogs and cats LOVE clotheslines. Cats will shred, bat, roll up in, and otherwise demolish clothes blowing in the breeze. Dogs just bite them and leave holes or tear marks. Granted, they don't like clean clothes as much as dirty ones, but it's still a toy in their minds.
3. Stiffness - Towels and blue jeans from a clothesline have a stiff feel to them. Being a comfort girl, I adore the extra softness that comes with clothes from a dryer. I never noticed a difference with cotton sheets, but it does make a difference in towels and wash cloths.
4. Time - Sometimes clothes don't dry quickly. If you have a big family and a lot of clothes to do, the clothesline isn't always the best option in busy weeks.
   

On the opposite side, here's some advantages they forgot to mention:

1. Games - Sheets and towels hanging on either side make a great place to hide during games or for pretending.
   
2. Funny songs in church - your sister, who is young and hasn't learned to read yet, will think they are singing "Bringing in the sheets" (instead of sheaves), making the old hymn quite funny
3. Clothespins - Do you know how many hours children can occupy themselves playing with such an item? Of course, today you probably can't buy the wooden ones for fear of splinters and the springs might pinch a finger or two. Who from my generation hasn't used a wooden clothespin in an arts craft?

I don't remember what tv show it was, but there was some lady who moved somewhere uppity where they didn't allow clotheslines. It was supposed to be classless. When the male neighborhood committee came to complain, she started hanging up her unmentionables. We found that quite funny. I find it interesting that something so simple and practical is now "avant garde" and making a comeback. I won't be having one put up anytime soon thanks to our pooches, but I'm certainly not opposed to them!

health care

Growing up, over half the time my family didn't have health insurance. We were fortunate to grow up in a very small town where the doctor's knew you by name (or at least read your charts before they walked in the room, but also would at least recognize your face if they saw you in the grocery store or Penney's). Most of them were extremely helpful. They'd require the payment amount that insured people had to pay, and the rest you could pay off on a payment plan. But it was both known and understood that people with insurance received better health care coverage than those without.
When my uncle was first diagnosed with cancer (they were also uninsured), there were several tests that should have been done that weren't. Years later, as the cancer had recurred in different places, the oncologist was shocked to discover those tests had never been performed - until he saw on the chart they didn't have health insurance. Even though my aunt and uncle had been willing to give up their entire savings to pay for it, the doctors decided it wouldn't be enough. And sadly, after seeing how much our insurance company paid for Bobby's last hospital bill, they were probably right. I often wonder if he'd survived had those tests been done.
While I DON'T want to go to a socialized health care program (where the gov pays for everything - like China, Canada, etc - I've witnessed the apathy and incompetence such programs provide) I AM in favor of a limited market approach to health care. For example, the discount prices that insurance companies get on medicines and procedures - those should be given to everyone. Let's say a medicine, 3x a day for a month costs $200, but if you have insurance, they mark the price down to $75, and you only pay $30 of that. Why should a non-insured person have to pay the full $200? Why not charge them the $75 as well? I know this concept might violate the whole principle of a free market economy, but I think our prices should be the same for everyone, whether it be an individual or a non-insured person. I don't have a problem with the government putting a cap on prices.
And while I understand that insurance companies lose money on their un-healthy patients, it infuriates me that my premium substantially went up last year- because I aged one year and moved into a new category!!! For no other reason than the fact that I aged one year, and that put me in a new age bracket, my insurance goes up almost $200. That's absurd. I've been to urgent care once this year. All my other numerous doctor visits have been accompanying sick family members. How does that make me more of a health risk!?
Personally, I would like for every member of Congress and their families to be without health care for two years. THEN they could tackle the issue of health insurance. But as it stands now, we have Marie Antoinette's "let them eat cake" mentality. (And for those who don't know the story, she was queen before the French Revolution. When people came to her with information that people were starving in the streets and had no bread, she shrugged and said, "Let them eat cake." She so totally didn't get it.)
And that's my morning rant.

censorship

The current discussion ensuing among the Carolina region of SCBWI is the issue of parenting vs. censorship. A parent, who is also a writer, was mortified at some books her child brought home from the school library (classified as narrative nonfiction for 4-8 grade, they are in an elementary library and discuss actual crimes that have happened and the CSI techniques used to solve them). Evidently the books are quite graphic, but the larger discussion has been over the issue of whether or not the books should be in the library at all. Does that amount to good parenting, or censorship?

When I was 12, there was a series out that I thoroughly enjoyed reading. A friend of mine had the entire set, and would loan them to me. After my Mom read one of the books, she told me she didn't approve, and why (the main characters, in HS, had no problem with gossip, lying, backstabbing, etc) and stated she really didn't want me reading such stuff. She didn't tell me I couldn't read them. And that was my loophole. I simply read them at school. But by book three after our discussion, the books didn't seems as great. I knew what the characters were going to do; I knew it wouldn't be kind or nice, and the plot seemed a little lame. By book four, the fun was gone. That was my last book in that series.

Now that I'm older, I understand the wisdom behind Mom's dislike. But I think I shocked her later by asking questions about one of her books. Having read most of ours, I simply moved up one shelf to her books. I was blessed to be surrounded by a lot of great books, but I wish I had been exposed to more classics and adventurous, fun books in Middle School.

And I guess that makes me question the assertions of some librarians that if you don't approve of a book you don't have to check it out. In theory, that is very true. But when you're dealing with a child, such as I was, then that child will find a way to check out a book they want. They may never take it home, but it will almost certainly be read. I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I do think that sometimes a little censorship doesn't hurt.