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Angela

March 03, 1969 - October 06, 2020

Tomorrow my family will gather once again to grieve together. The end of July they gathered to celebrate the life of Angela's mother Phyllis, a breast cancer survivor who died of Covid-19. Tomorrow they will remember the life of Angela.

It's strange to look  her age and date of birth. Growing up, I always thought of her as one of the older cousins, one who could reprimand or assist as needed. At family gatherings growing up she was always with her sister Tina and her cousin Ron, and I was never that close to her. But I do remember there was always laughter whenever she was around.

With Dad's job as a pastor and White family gatherings on Sundays, we were seldom able to be with the family except for holidays. As I moved away from home and life moved on for everyone, there were many times when family gatherings seemed awkward for me. Angela was one of the ones who always made them easier.

The last several years we've connected on Facebook quite a bit. We shared a love for gardening and cooking and canning, though her tastes were a bit spicier than mine. I am truly going to miss all the videos and recipes and photos coming through my feed 2-3 times a week.

I grieve for her husband of less than a year, and I cannot imagine what he is experiencing right now. They were supposed to sign the papers for their new house on Tuesday when she died in a car wreck.

I hurt for her children and grandchildren, and cannot fathom the roller coaster of emotions they are experiencing. 

I hurt for her sisters, who have stood by her thick and thin, praying, encouraging, rebuking, helping, laughing, loving. 

I hurt for her Dad Larry, my cousin whom I've always viewed as an uncle, a Vietnam Vet, who has now lost a grandchild, a wife, and his oldest daughter. 

So many thoughts and memories and questions are rolling through my brain. Today I have few answers.

Today I yearn and pray for my family. I pray for that peace that passes understanding. That in the midst of all the anguish and hurt that they will feel held by God. That with all the questions and doubts they can rest in the unknowing. That in all the anger God will prod all of us to do more, to be more.

While today we both celebrate and mourn a life, the reality is her impact will be with us always. Angela will forever be imbedded in our minds. Today we greatly are slapped with the reality of sin and its toil on all of creation. And I yearn for the healing that only God can give.


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