Skip to main content

shoes

Yes, I know this is my second post for today. Yes, I can do that. :)

One of the crazy things about life with a disability is the difficulty in finding shoes. It throws a whole new kink in things.

I think I've shared in the past how I hated shoe-shopping as a child because stores never carried extra-wide widths, or they'd have two options out of the 30+ shoes in my size. But that is a blessing when I compare it to trying to find shoes for my husband.

When you sit in a wheelchair all day long, your feet swell. Yes, he does boost to shift his upper body and he can twist and turn in his seat, but his feet basically stay planted in the same spot (unless something bumps them or he uses his wheelchair feetplates as a bulldozer, which happens fairly often). And if your feet swell and your shoes are fitted, it not only cuts out the circulation in your feet but leaves horrid marks and sores. So shoes have to be soft and expandable. That's issue #1.

Side note: 32 years ago, at the time of Bobby's accident, Wallabee's were in style. And they worked PERFECT with issue number one . So he's continued to wear that style of shoe, even when it went out of style. A few years ago, those shoes came back in style, and one of his older nieces was shocked to find out they used to be in style, saying "I thought those were just handicapped people shoes." Yes dear, even Uncle Bobby can be fashionable sometimes.

Issue #2 is a bit harder to deal with: seams and inseams. Have you ever stopped to examine HOW your shoes are put together? Feet are one of the body parts that easily develop what is called a pressure sore. Pressure sores are any part of the body where there's not a lot of fat between the skin and bone (shoulder, elbow, wrist, tailbone, hip bone, ankle, heel, toes, and balls of feet) where an extended amount of unrelieved pressure can cause a sore (hence the name).  Seams in shoes tend to be very hard and create pressure on some of those sensitive spots.  Before we buy a pair of shoes, we have to check where the seams and inseams are to ensure there's nothing that could apply the slightest pressure on any of those spots.

Issue #3: stability.  Our muscles were meant to be used. Our bones were meant to be moved. Over time, if they're not moved, muscles atrophy and bones begin to shrink and condense. Hightops or anything that supports the ankle from flopping over or provides extra stability is high on our list.

Issue #4: size.  Ever tried putting a shoe on a toddler? Know how they scrunch their toes up? Try putting a shoe on an adult who is unable to hold their leg up, who has no control over their toes, and whose foot is sometimes swollen. Getting a size on that? Do you want the 6am size, the noon size, or the 9pm size? (or any variable in between?) And the heel of the shoe has to fit in the back of the wheelchair footplate. (Shoes are MUCH cheaper than new wheelchair parts.)

It was probably 8 years ago or more the last time I ordered Bobby a pair of shoes. It took four returns before we got all the issues squared away and found something we could use that had us both happy. Well, I was happy until last year when I broke my arm and ALL our help became very puzzled when I told them to get his "black" shoes. Turns out those shoes aren't black after all, and Bobby got a good laugh as he got to tell everyone about me being partially colorblind. He didn't realize I thought they were black for 6 years. Sigh... Anyway, I have since glued the soles back on those shoes, and they're starting to come lose again.

So we started the process of ordering a 8 EEE in something he can wear that looks appropriate for a law office or meeting at the legislature. We found two options. And I think we were both very happy with how it looked. Day one...no problems until the end of the day. Day two...Sunday week ago, he had some problems but we couldn't tell if it was the shoes or something else.  Day three, Thursday, we tried them again. He came home with 2 pressure sores, one of them in a very bad spot. So Friday he worked from home, meaning he could go without a shoe on that foot, as well as Saturday, and Sunday, we pulled out his old hospital slippers (for once I'm thankful the man never throws anything out), and he went to church like this:

Old shoe on right, bandaged sock foot on left.
 
 
You can imagine my surprise when one of my good friends asked me "Why didn't y'all just get a wider shoe?"  We did, dearie. That's why he's in this shape now. Sigh. Some things can't be quickly explained.
 
But I'm happy to report the sore is slowly but nicely healing. Maybe by Sunday he can be back in his old shoe. Meanwhile, we've just laughed that a different young niece (or two) would be horrified if they lived nearby and saw him like this. But it would also be a good life lesson: looks are certainly not everything.

Comments

Bobby said…
Got yourdays wrong. Sore appeared Wednesday which is why we missed church Wednesday night, even though we didn't yet know what the problem was.
Melissa said…
Well, I just never thought of how difficult something as shoes might be! Here's hoping his feet adjust!

Popular posts from this blog

things we do for love

Saturday we had a baby shower for Bobby's niece. As I was making the mints, Bobby asked what else was on the menu. After I recited off the litany of items, he responded with "No peanut butter?! This shower is for Hannah! What's she going to eat?" (Hannah has had stomach problems over the years and has been unable to tolerate many foods, but peanut butter has been her staple.) Despite my assurances that she would enjoy the foods we were having, he was adamant that I needed to make peanut butter & jelly sandwiches for the shower. Even though I protested that NOBODY took that to a shower, he persisted, and informed me I could make them dainty with my little cutter. And so I did. To my surprise all but 3 were eaten. Who'd a thunk it?

get your house in order

My grandmothers were very clean people. My mother thoroughly enjoys cleaning, though she doesn't quite hit the same level my grandmothers were on. I don't enjoy cleaning, but I do like things to be clean. I've almost given up on neatness. One thing that they all instilled in me is the crazy concept that your house must be in order before you go somewhere big - like a vacation or something. After all, you could die in a car crash or have to go to the hospital, and then people would go into your house and find it in a terrible mess. Who wants to be remembered by that? So up until this past year, I would sometimes be up almost all night not only trying to get things packed up, but also trying to totally clean house as well. Or should I say, make the house presentable? The Chinese had a horrible superstition that my mother and grandparents would have enjoyed. Spring Festival (the Chinese New Year based on the lunar calendar) required EVERYTHING to be cleaned top to

Wait...it's almost March?!?

 10 more months 'til Christmas. This last month has been an absolute blur. Cleaning at Mrs. Bryan's house, cleaning at our house, lots of thinking and brainstorming and rearranging, appointments upon appointments, sinus infection/allergies, Bobby's surgery, meeting with surgeon and finally agreeing to future outpatient surgery for me, ongoing updates from my parents, garden tilled and snow peas, potatoes and beets planted (and yes I left several rows empty between the potatoes and beets for something else to go later as a buffer), chickens are laying, we may have a broody hen..in FEBRUARY!!!, we have two roosters that need to disappear, lots of family have been in from out of town to assist with the sorting and cleaning at Mrs. Bryan's house, and somewhere in the midst of it all I've found time to pay bills and catch up on a few emails. While I no longer feel like our house is a disaster zone, it is still overwhelming. Years ago a friend posted a quote by Martin Lut