organization, or lack thererof

 :) 

As I type this I am surrounded by piles of paper. I've started trying to organize things for taxes. I don't know why I do this in January every year, as most documents I need don't arrive until February! (But I do know why...it's because I want it all out of my desk so I can prepare for this year!)

I have several long-term projects that I'm attempting to tackle this year. One of them is organizing my family history box. This has already frustrated me as the more information I pile into the document the more I realize I need a better system for doing this. My sister advised me to start with one piece of information, complete it, then work from there. But I have two small piles of information that all need entering, so I'm still doing an all over approach at the moment. Hopefully by the end of this month I'll be on a better path for starting sectional work.

Two weeks ago I cleaned out part of my sewing room so I could move some furniture out (and I hate to admit I've allowed some of the mess to spill over into another room, but that's a different blog post). My goal for this year is to complete enough projects that the room is slightly less chaotic. I fear I have only opened Pandora's Box. 

While I am a little behind in some of my reading (this month is The History of Rudeness and 31 Days of Praise), I'm still pressing onward. I figure every page read is one step closer to completing another book. My hope is that by limiting myself to two books each month, I'll force myself to finish reading some non-fiction that I have a tendency to start and then leave on the dresser unfinished for a while - like a year, or two, or three. 

A few years ago I told Bobby that my dream in life was to be organized.  He looked at me with amusement and replied "Not in this lifetime." I'm not sure he believes my little sister when she tells him that I used to be hyper-organized and stressed about the least little thing being out of sync. I don't want to get back to THAT level of organization, but I would like to return to a little less chaos. My friend Sara has a quote that goes something like "You can't stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop that bird from building nests in your hair."

And that's one of my goals for this year - to remove all the nests I've allowed to accumulate around me.

one week later

 When I started blogging the electoral college last week, I was mainly wanting to record comments of the historical event because of the controversy surrounding the vote.  I never dreamed a riot would occur and our capitol would become under attack. Four people died that day.

Benjamin Phillips, 50, from PA had a stroke. His family members have not received any confirmation from anyone about where he was when he died or any contributing factors. He often went to Trump rallies and sold stuffed Trump kangaroos.

Ashli Babbitt, 35, from CA died of a gun shot wound received that she received from Capitol Police while jumping through the window of a door into the house chambers that protestors had just busted out. An Air force veteran, she had multiple videos on social media sites full of rants about Trump and immigrants.

Roseanne Boyland, 34, from GA. According to friends and family with her, she was trampled to death during the clash between protestors and police inside the Capitol. A former drug addict, she was hoping to become a social worker.

Brian Sicknick, 42. A former member of the Air National Guard who served our country overseas after 9/11, he joined the Capitol Police in 2008. According to fellow officers, he was beaten in the head with a fire extinguishers by protestors. After arriving back at the station he collapsed, and later died in the hospital.

Kevin Greeson, 55,  of Alabama was outside the Capitol when he died. He was on the phone with his wife when he suffered a heart attack. This photo is from an Alabama newspaper, which they found on his Parler account. He posted it in December with a post about everyone bringing their guns to the Capitol and declaring war. His wife claims he was non-violent and would never have advocated what happened, but his social media posts say otherwise.

Many media are trying to link the death of another officer to the riots, but he was off duty on that day, and died by suicide.

Today the House has impeached the President. There's a lot of division on whether or not that was the proper thing to do with him only having one week left in office. Debate on the House floor was very heated, very contentious, at times ugly, and heart-breaking to hear. 

Personally, I'm not sure if impeachment or criminal charges is the answer. I do think the President is held accountable to the law, even more than the average citizen. I don't think he should get a pass on this because his term is almost over.

But I do see extreme hypocrisy in the House members who brought the charges. Their contempt and rhetoric and behavior of the last four years have equaled that of the President's. The only difference is there's have not incited a coup against the government.

I am more concerned with the number of social media sites who are banning people and companies. I recognize it is not a government violation of free speech because these are private companies, but there is clearly two large segments of people who are being prohibited from expressing their thoughts. Granted, one of these two segments of society, like Mr. Greeson above, advocate some very disturbing things. My father always told me as a child that "Your freedom ends where your sister's nose begins." and I do think that the responsibilities that go with freedom mean there has to be a limit to what we can do or say. But the idea of limiting speech is a scary one. Not everyone agrees on where that line should be drawn, and once we start drawing lines it becomes very easy to redraw them or cut and paste them into another position. It's a slippery slope.

Also on today our Capitol has the national guard sleeping in its halls as they prepare and get ready for the inauguration next week. Our nation has not quartered troops in DC since the Civil War, and the rhetoric I heard today and the deep divisions I'm seeing online sadly remind me of many diaries and sentiments of the time a few years before the Civil War. I pray for healing of our nation. I pray for unity. I fear like my ancestors of four generations ago that there may come a time I have to choose a side and I will have family on both sides. Wake up, America. It doesn't have to be this way.

Watching history

The last time there was such a debate over the vote and electoral college, our nation went to civil war soon after.  As our representatives meet and are currently debating the results of the election, protests are happening outside. Below are excerpts from the Senate debate on whether or not to accept Arizona's vote. 

We cannot declare ourselves a national board of elections on steroids...Every time in the last 30 yrs that Democrats have lost the Presidential race they have staged a protest like this....Republicans decried it. There should be no double standard. We should not imitate what we repudiate. - Mitch McConnell, US Senator from Kentucky 

Democracy beats deep in the hearts of our citizens. Facts matter. Truth matters...Let the words of our oath ring in the ears of every Senator today. - Chuck Schumer, US Senator from New York

I am not arguing for setting aside the results of the election...I look for door #3 to investigate voter fraud. ..a 10 day emergency audit and examine the claims of fraud...telling voters with concerns to go jump in a lake...we have a responsibility. It is broader than the state of Arizonia. That would benefit both sides.- Ted Cruz, US Senator from Texas

This is only the 3rd time in the history of our nation this has happened.  4 Republicans were elected to the house from Arizona. These Senators did not protest the swearing in off those officials who won in the same election they are protesting today.  - Amy Klobuchar, US Senator from Minnesota 

Pat Tumey, Pennsylvania is now speaking but all networks are covering the protests outside. 

2:34pm...both chambers are in recess as the entire Capitol complex is on lockdown. Protesters have made their way up steps on one side of the Capitol but are stopping at the police line on the other side. While the group is a good size it is not huge nor does it appear violent or angry. I've seen several wheelchairs and crutches but so far that is all. I wish I could sit and watch everything unfold but chores will not allow it.

Finally some relief!

With the heavy rains we've had the last two days and the incessant work of the beavers, the pond flooded at Hurricane levels over the weekend. So last night schedules finally aligned and three friends came over for a few house of beaver hunting.

I can shoot a rifle, but I'm not the best shot. I can hold a flashlight, but I can't shoot a rifle AND hold a flashlight. So our plan was to have two shooters and two lights. I took Bobby's rifle to the pond, but gladly ended up being a light shiner. 

Normally after a shot is fired, I know I missed because there is a loud tail slap nearby. Last night after the 2nd and 3rd shots were fired by my friends across the pond, I heard no slaps at all. And here's where the difference between a real hunter and me comes in focus. After shooting and waiting for a little bit for any sightings, I would have then returned to the house to try and warm up.  But after firing shots and waiting, they returned to the pier where me and my young sidekick were waiting with our flashlights, and we all trecked through the flooded yard into the woods to search for any signs of the beavers as well as their homes. We did hear one slide into the water, but never spotted it nor saw anything else. So after waiting and watching, we went back to the pier and waited there for a while before claiming and hoping it was truly a victory.

And this morning...the only stoppage of the drain was leaves and straw that had sucked around the grates. It was still draining at a decent pace, and I had it flowing within a few scrapes with the hoe. No mud/clay/pinecone/stick/straw mixture packed into it, no new rebuilding of the fortress around the drain, and the water level is now back to where it would be after a heavy rain. I am so relived. This is the first time since last March that I have not had to spend a bit of time either attempting to find the drain or cleaning off the top and sides of it. 

I am now more than optimistic that the Momma and Poppa beavers are gone. If by the end of this week I can finally get to the drain and clean everything out around it we will be able to dig out and make a drain cover like the pond people suggested that will hopefully prevent future problems. And my friends gave me some advice on how to blow up the lodge and dam.

I'll go out this afternoon into the wooded area with the binoculars to see if I can spot a carcass. A forum I was reading in last night made it sound like a good number of beavers will submerge themselves under a log or in their lodge after being hit and they won't resurface. Personally, I'm okay with that. So far it looks like we've accomplished what needed to be done. I'm relieved.

Ending with goodbyes

As 2020 draws to a close tonight, I look back at a year blessed with a new appreciation for my time. It's truly been a blessing to have so much removed from the calendar this year. And these last few weeks have been a time of many goodbyes. While the media and social media has been abuzz the last two days of all this world has lost this year, I couldn't help but reflect and how little of an impact those people had on my life (most of them I had never heard of) and how tremendously others influenced my life and yet will never be mentioned outside of their family and friends circles.

Phyllis Gilland (back row on the left). Growing up I knew her as Angela, Tina and Sharon's Mom. She had the soft, southern drawl with a voice that could be both loud and pleasant at the same time. I seldom saw here without a smile. Even when it was the worst of summer with Alabama's heat at its worse, she would climb off the lawn mower, come speak, and apologize for not looking her best. She lived her faith and preached as  much through her actions as she did her words. We lost her to Covid in June.

Angela Gilland Edwards (center front). Slightly older than my older sister, Angela was loud and fun, and yet so good and calm with children. There's a picture of all the great-grandchildren and grandchildren with my grandparents one get-together, and Angela is down front with my littler sister (who was Sharon's age) instead of with the big kids in the back. What that picture doesn't tell is that for some reason my little sister was crying and didn't want to join the group. She agreed to sit by Angela. She was an incredible cook, had an amazing singing voice, and had many struggles and the last two years of her life had faced some very difficult hardships. Angela died in a car wreck in October, on her way to sign papers for her new house.

Pansy Murray - John Murray was the Christian Service Director at the Bible College I attended,(all students were required to perform 30  minutes to 2 hrs of community service each week) and it was not uncommon to see his wife Pansy in the office. Like my cousin Phyllis, she always seemed to sport a smile and had a quiet way about her. Former missionaries to France, they continued to live out their faith in Nashville. After she died of covid in October, Mr. Murray posted this in her obituary: “I have been privileged with a wonderful wife who has followed me in the ministry of the Word of God. Pansy has been a constant encouragement and a source of strength as God has led us around the world. She was one of the most sacrificial and giving people I have ever met. You do not walk together for as long as we have been together without missing your soulmate. Pansy has certainly been that—a worthy helpmate and partner. Thank you to all who have been incredibly supportive and have provided so much for us during this difficult journey.”
I don't think you can earn much higher praise.

Leroy Forlines, my theology teacher at Free Will Baptist Bible College (now Welch College), died right before Christmas from cancer.  He lived out the reality that humility does not equal weakness, that honesty matters, people are important and it is our job as Christians to help the hurting, and that clean fun is possible. So many stories I could tell here. He impacted the lives of so many. He died of cancer within a few weeks of his diagnosis, right before Christmas.

Mrs. Thigpen was called out of retirement my sophomore year of college when a professor abruptly quit one month into the semester. She became my Interpretive Speech teacher, and I learned SO much under her teaching. And yes, I learned more than just speech lessons. That was a very difficult year for me, both physically and emotionally, and I didn't appreciate everything I learned under her until years later. She died of Covid this week, and her husband (who I only knew from a distance and by reputation) died today from the same disease. Classmates who were ahead of me (they retired as President of the college the year before I started) commented that it was fitting they both entered heaven the same week as they were truly a team. A truly sweet soul.

Rev. Dennis  Haygood - An Alabama FWB pastor, I more knew his name from attending meetings and association meetings with Dad, but I attended college with his daughter Lisa. This family has been through so much the last few years and we were all heartbroken to learn he was in the hospital with Covid while the rest of his family was sick at home. Lisa posted yesterday that after a month of suffering in the hospital, he was with Jesus. Not the outcome we had prayed for, but he has received the ultimate healing.

I pray that when my time on earth is over, that my life will have made as much an impact on others as they had on me. May I reflect Jesus as much as they did.

Aunt Pat's fudge

Growing up, my Aunt Pat always brought two things to Thanksgiving and Christmas meals: a ham and 2 things of fudge - one with nuts and one without. I'm sure she brought other things as well, but those two things were on my favorites list so those stand out in my mind. Her death my second year in China left me reeling. I've made half-hearted attempts at fudge over the years using various recipes, some semi-successful, some abysmal failures. Years ago I mentioned to Mom how much I missed her fudge at the holidays, and she informed that Aunt Pat's recipe was the one on the back of the marshmallow creme jar.

So tonight I tried it. It set. I don't remember it being this sweet, but it is good. 

I'm sure I will eat way more of it than I should, but more than anything I am thankful for the impact she had on my life. For sharing a children's book on the trinity when I had questions, for the memories of her smile, her hugs, the words of affirmation and encouragement, for teaching me that gifts were about the person receiving them, that servanthood was a privilege and an act of love.  And as I enjoy every bite, I'll pray for my cousins who miss her way more than I do and feel her absence keenly. 

Holidays are good, but they can also be hard.

Deflated

 Years ago a groupd of  ladies signed up to decorate tables for a Christmas party.  I took my Christmas dishes and bought a small cactus to use as the centerpiece. That was almost 20 years ago. I can't tell you the number of people, including my Mom, who have accused me of putting a plastic plant in a pretty pot. I've repotted it once but lately its growth seemed to stop. Last week it began turning black. I pruned it a little and it started to regain some greenness. Last night I gently touched it as I went by, and it DEFLATED. I kid you not. It was. O longer solid but liquid inside and it oozed out its inwards and fell over.

According to the internet, I over watered it. Oh well. We had a nice 10+ year enjoyment of it. Now to figure out what should go in its place.