family over favorites

Since Bobby's family (or 2/5s of it) meet at a restaurant for Sunday lunch, I had decided I would cook and have everyone over here. After all, Easter Sunday is a holiday. I had the meal planned, something I thought they might eat but was also something my family might have on a holiday, bought everything at the grocery store last night, only to find out today that my mother-in-law has decided to temporarily come out of "retirement" and cook. (She says the only way a housewife can retire is to quit cooking and cleaning.)
I'm happy for my husband. He misses his Mom's cooking. I'm glad the family will be together. Holidays are good for that. I'm disappointed that my ham will have to stay in the freezer and my home-made macaroni and cheese won't be made. As much as I appreciate my in-laws, missing my family on the holidays and then having to eat NC Barbeque (which isn't my favorite) for a holiday meal is almost the equivalent of not having a holiday at all. Almost.
I thought perhaps I might cook the meal for us on Friday - until I cleaned up the kitchen tonight. We have way too many leftovers to be cooking anything else. So this Easter, I won't be eating ham or a special Sunday roast beef, no AL style black-eyed peas with cornbread, no collards or turnip greens. But we will have deviled eggs and rolls, so all won't be lost.
What are your traditional Easter meals?

my new project

As the Queen of UFOs (UnFinished prOjects), I have done it again. I have started yet ANOTHER project (and I'm considering redoing an earlier finished one!) Yes, the wind from your shaking heads is gently blowing the tree limbs and the sighs you're releasing is enhancing our temps to the delightful spring weather we're having.

BUT, in my defense...it had to be done. You see, grape vines must be pruned every spring to produce appropriately (at least that's what the "experts" say), or at least to keep from growing into mammoth monsters of tangled vines that collapse the poles. AND since our chipper/shredder doesn't munch on grape vines very well (we tried that a few years ago), that only leaves me with three options: 1) have a bonfire 2) dump them into an unsightly mess in the woods or 3) make wreaths!And since the boys were cutting grass Saturday, I couldn't leave the vines in the yard; hence the pile on my porch. I spent about three hours folding and twisting, and the pile has majestically shrunk to the heap on the steps. Since we have a hoard of company coming Saturday, the circling of the vines will at least be completed this week, but I probably won't finish decorating them until later.

Wouldn't life be absolutely dull without new projects?

funny Sunday

Yesterday morning Miss Lori stopped me at church and asked me if I could fill in as her assistant in the youngest children's class that night. Their teacher was out sick. Let's just say that anyone who teaches 3 & 4 year-olds clearly spends a LOT of time in preparation and thought. I was very impressed with how she had everything ready to roll with enough activities to keep them occupied the whole time.

When it was time for their lesson, I sat down at the nearest table. Mr. Ducky looked at me and said "This is the boys' table." I looked around, and sure enough all three boys plus one girl were sitting at that table. Since there was already another girl there, I told him I thought girls could sit there, too. So Mr. Blue shirt hops up and moves to the next table where two other little girls were sitting. He turned and with a grin said, "I'm going to sit with the ladies."

For part of the lesson there was a poem that had hand motions to go along with it. The last two lines went something like this:

Where do you stand
when it comes to God's commands?

Every time Miss Lori read "Where do you stand..." Mr. Ducky would look at her and say, "I stand right here."

Part of the Palm Sunday lesson was about Judas getting the thirty pieces of silver for telling the soldiers where Jesus was. They had a hard time getting the word thirty. It seemed to always come out as 13 or forty. Mrs. Lori gave each child a nickel to help them remember the thirty pieces of silver, and to reinforce the lesson she'd ask each child what the silver coin stood for. When little Miss Bouncy got hers, she answered, "Hey, I can spend this!" Most kids are just excited to simply get money. This little chick knew what is was for!

I was impressed with their recall from the previous week's lesson. I don't remember the exact wording of the question, but it had something to do with what happens when people sin. Little Miss Red's eyes got wide and she turned around in her chair and said, "They go to hell!" That wasn't the answer either one of us expected.

I love the excitement, curiosity and passion of that age group, but I think if I had to assist them on a regular basis I might find church very tiring indeed. My hat is off to any preschool worker!

loop holes, exemptions and other such nonsense

Yesterday at a ballgame I jokingly told my husband we didn't have to leave early. Being the gentlemen that he is, he said he wouldn't keep me away from the ladies' Bible study. So I laughingly told him I didn't need to go that night as the lesson was on submission. (This has been an on-going joke between us as I removed the "to obey" part out of my wedding vows...but that's a story for another time).

This Bible study has been different from anything else I've ever participated in. We meet for a cooking demonstration, have a lesson, then split up to eat the meal "taught" to us while we discuss the lesson. Table talk, I think is what they call it. Last night's lesson was one of the few where everyone at our table could say it applied to us, and as serious as the questions and their implications were, we still found quite a few things to laugh about. But my answer to one of the questions still has me pondering.

The question dealt with how the world's view of feminism has impacted believers. We discussed the fact that many women look for a loop hole in the submission command. If our husbands don't love us like Christ does then we're not required to submit, or if our husband is making a really stupid decision then as his helpmeet we're supposed to not go along with it and "help" him out, etc. And yet, as one of the ladies pointed out, there is not an exemption clause anywhere in that verse. We're to obey it, period. I think many Christian women struggle with this for two reasons. One, we're sinful beings who want our own way. But two, we've sadly seen many poor examples of the verses that follow the one on submission.

My mother taught in a Christian school so we could attend there while I was in middle school. It was also during this time that her "flare-ups" became severe. (It was almost twenty years later before she was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease.) My sisters and I would do her share of the required janitorial work because we knew she was physically unable. Mother would have to elevate her legs and talk us through supper preparations, and she would almost always crash after supper. Many mornings she was physically unable to get up or down, much less bend over to put her shoes on. One day while mopping her classroom, I overhead a group of teachers talking in the hallway. Someone had asked Mom what she was cooking for supper, and Mother responded, "I don't know. Jerry was buying groceries today, so I'll have to wait and see what he got." The ladies were all stunned that my Dad would buy groceries, saying their husbands would consider that woman's work. That same year while at a pastor's conference with my Dad I remember several other pastors being astounded to find out that Dad helped with a good share of the housework at home. They ridiculed him for it a little bit. It made me angry. My Dad was simply being a good and loving husband. There was nothing unmanly about him doing what needed to be done for his family. And yet I hear way too many Christian men talk as if such acts of love are beneath them. When I think of such situations, I understand why so many women want to balk at the very word submission.
But on the other hand, a small part of me wonders if the wives supported the husbands like my Mother supported my Dad, would the husbands be just as supportive and helpful as my Dad was to my Mom?
Submission is something I struggle with regularly. Like both of my grandmothers, I am what my family calls strong-willed. It's not always easy for me to maintain the equilateral triangle in my marriage (in case you've never heard of that one, I'll explain it later). So many times I wind up being the lopsided triangle because of my hard-headedness.
Unless I find some undiscovered exemption clause or loop hole, I figure this will be one of those '' thorn in the flesh" commands that I struggle with performing for the rest of my life. Like my weight, I hope one day it will be under control, but I fear it will be an issue I will always battle.

weekend reflections

Nope, it's not the traffic for a Saturday football game or the fair!

The Harper House, which was used as a field hospital by the Union troops, as well as 65 wounded Confederates. When the Union troops headed to meet Sherman at Goldsboro, they left the wounded Confederates behind. It was weeks before they were well enough to leave themselves.

What little boys do while waiting for the battle to begin

I've read about servants going into battle with soldiers to cook and wash for them, and I've read about slaves following the Union army and camping behind them in search of protection and freedom, but I've not read about whole families going to war together (but that doesn't mean they didn't).

I like the Coleman pack inside the tent...nice touch, don't you think?

Bobby watching the advancing troops. Is he merely observing, or secretly daydreaming?

The Union soldiers before battle. The historian shared that the troops discredited the cooks who complained of being unable to forage for food due to all the Rebels in the area. Despite the warnings, the Union forces were caught unprepared. Had it not been for their sheer numbers (they outnumbered the Rebs 4 to 1 in this battle), the outcome might have been different. Re-enactments in the South always have a problem of having enough Union soldiers. Confederate re-enactors must be part of an invited group. Union re-enactors just need a uniform and can join up with a group from anywhere.

Not sure about the flag on the left (other than it's colors are opposite of the AL state flag), but the center flag is the first flag of the Confederacy. Not sure what the rectangular red spot on white is, but the battle flag (used by most troops at the end of the war because none of the three official Confederate flags were conducive to good battle strategy) is at the bottom right corner.

And the Feds use their cannons to shoot back.

An artillery supply truck? Or maybe the wounded wagon.

And the battle stops temporarily for the real ambulance. Heat stroke perhaps?
We heard they were putting bags of ice on the horses to keep them cool.

The heat of the battle
(according to the newspaper, the Union re-enactors had to get up again after playing dead because there were too few of them)

This Union regiment from New York were either using their historical unit's actual battle flag or else had a battle-worn replica made. Either way, it drew the eye of almost everyone on our side of the field.

With the warm temps and the large publicity for this year's events, the crowd was three times as large as I remember it being five years ago. I expect the next re-enactment in 2015 will be even bigger as it will be the 150 anniversary. And one of the vendor's tents we visited supposedly had period era jewelry, including earrings. I guess because of Louisa Mae Alcott's book Rose in Bloom I assumed very few girls had pierced ears back then. I did browse at some of the dresses, hats, parasols and hoop skirts. It would be cool to dress up like that, but realistically, that's way too much money for an event that only happens every five years. Besides, which side would I support? Some of my Dad's ancestors served as independent scouts for the Union in SC, and while most of my Mom's ancestors fought for the South, one of the women did marry a Union soldier. Bobby would shoot me if he went in gray and me in navy. :) Regardless, while the past is behind us and it's cool to dress up, a part of me can't help but wonder what the South would be like if we had handled things differently or if Lincoln had survived. I guess we'll never know.

a number

The days get shorter.
Or maybe my to do list grows longer.
But either way time seems diminished, fleeting, evasive.

I am five again,
Staring at the board for Chutes & Ladders,
Counting, Staring, Memorizing,
Desperately trying to learn my way to 100.

My hairs are numbered,
as are my days.
Do I shift my list to fit everything in?
Or do I simply throw the list away?

I'm reaching the crease in the board.
You know, that halfway point that makes you think you might reach the top.
Of course, there's all those chutes that send you hurtling downward, forcing you to stay in the game longer.
But there's also the shorter ladders, enabling you to cut the game short.

The roll of the dice, the squares where we stop, the things beyond our control.
But will I cheat? What color peg will I be? Will I pout if I lose?
Those are the things that truly impact me.
Those are the choices I can actually determine.

All the rest is just up and down.
And learning to count the numbers.

funny things from this week

Joanna: We're not having eggs for breakfast again are we?
Me: No, we're having waffles.
Joanna: I want pancakes.
Me: I don't know how to make pancakes.
Joanna: Well I'll tell you. It's easy. You take the things you like and mix them up together. Then you cook them, then take out the things you don't like.

And for curious minds, we had waffles, which she helped mix and pour, and declared "almost as good as pancakes."

Joanna: This time I want you to be the Prince.
Bobby: Oh boy. I'm glad I get to be the handsome Prince.
Joanna: No, you're not handsome. You're a dirty Prince.

Overhead at Bentonville from a Confederate re-enactor, talking to a group of young boys:
I always die in battle, and I try to die early on. These uniforms are hot and the smoke and dust gets to you, so as soon as we hear the first crack me and my buddies fall down so we don't have to run anymore.

Female re-enactors smoking, wearing fancy earrings, talking on cell phones, and taking pictures with digital pictures. Really girls, if you're donning period era costumes, shouldn't you use period era accessories?

And from young boys not realizing the seriousness of the situation when an ambulance pulled alongside the field and the battle "stopped" :
Guess they're picking up the dead.
But I thought they used horse-drawn wagons for that!
Maybe they couldn't find enough horses, either. (Their previous discussion had been how hundreds of re-enactors weren't enough when each side was supposed to have thousands of soldiers during the original battle.)

And from Joanna when her nose started running: Mom! My nose is coming off!