Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. ~ Hebrews 4:16
I learned when I was twelve that God does not always answer our prayers with a yes. When I was 19, I experienced that again at a very monumental time. It's not an easy lesson when you desperately and fervently pray for something only to get a no for an answer.
This week has me timidly approaching God. I know we're commanded to ask boldly, but I so struggle with that. I know He hears me, but I still doubt that He will answer the way I expect. It's almost like I anticipate that He won't.
Misty lived across the hall from me in my college. We were in the same prayer group, and were both Alabama girls. We watched the important football games together. She was (and still is) a firecracker of a personality. A few weeks ago she had a seizure while teaching her high school English class, and discovered that she has a benign brain tumor. Her surgery was to be this week, but has now been postponed because it is an "elective" surgery. Prayers for a successful surgery, for her recovery (which if she could have now would allow her to be back in the classroom in August), and for no repurcussions from the removal of the tumor leave me a little timid inside. At a time like this, she needs all her prayer warriors to march boldly to the throne, not timidly.
Tim was in my class and his future wife Jessica was a year or two behind us. There son is in critical condition at this moment and with the COVID-19, only one of them can be at the hospital with them. The whole family has been so heavy on my heart tonight and yet I struggle to find the words to pray.
I know that God is good and loving, and kind and merciful. But I also know that His ways are not mine. I struggle to understand His reasoning and the whys of things happen the way they do sometimes.
And today I struggle with boldness. So tonight I'm boldly praying for mercy and grace for my old classmates and their families. I know He'll answer that prayer.
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