I forget how "routine" our life is, until someone says or does something. And it's never big things; it's always the small things that make me realize how different our life truly is. Here's some examples:
1. Kitchen utensils - Bobby has an adapted spoon and fork. They almost always stay on the kitchen table. I do wash them, but if I don't put them back on the table, then it's a scramble at meal time trying to find where they are. I have to be on guard when we have adult guests who help clean off the table that they don't get dropped into dishwater or the sink (the holders aren't washable) or the dishwasher (or heaven forbid some obscure drawer). My Mom, who is a fanatic about cleaning, once took his spoon and holder totally apart so she could wash the entire spoon and not just the part that was used. We had quite a time figuring out how to put it back together. And I have had one person toss it in the trash (thankfully there was nothing icky on top!). Kids always notice that his "tensils" are on the table (and are often tempted to play with them or at least try them on and see how they work).
2. Empty spots - It's funny. This is one that only seems to bother adults. For obvious reasons, we don't have a chair in Bobby's spot at either table. On at least two occasions a friend has repetitively tried to put a chair in that spot while we were cleaning up the kitchen. I had never thought about the fact the table looks unbalanced with all the chairs to one side. I simply have no desire to move furniture around every single time we eat or sit down to do paperwork. This is our home where we live and is not a showroom. Less obvious, we have a gap in the living room furniture so Bobby can see the television from the kitchen table. I think we (at least I did) often take for granted how much we use our laps or do other things while watching tv, and since that is not an option for him, being able to use the table is very helpful. I will admit this is an area I often forget to check (to make sure chairs haven't been moved in the way). It's not a necessity in our life, but it is one of those things we do that make life a little easier.
3. Floor space - I learned early on in our relationship NOT to kick my shoes off at the door. That's an almost guarantee to have a pair of shoes destroyed. Opening and closing a door in a wheelchair is not an easy task and requires having ample room to move. Shoes beside an entryway are in the way. It doesn't matter how many times I tell guests not to leave their shoes at the door, they think they're being polite by doing so. We have a very open floor plan in our house, and people also leave things in the floor thinking there's plenty of room (guilty of this one myself) without realizing they've essentially blocked Bobby into one room. (and this one happens a lot with young great-nephews and nieces who drop toys and then don't understand why Uncle Bobby can't "come on!")
4. Driving - while Bobby's chair is waiting on repair parts, I'm driving his van. For the most part, it drives like a normal vehicle, but there are gadgets and adaptors that can't be removed that modify how I sit and hold the wheel when I drive. People don't think about those things (the turn signal switch that I use is in its normal place; there's a toggle switch near his shoulder for him to use and I've bumped that and turned signals on while driving) but they do make life a little bit different.
I don't think about these things very often, but yesterday we had a young guest in our house who casually observed "You didn't move Mr. Bobby's fork off the table." that reminded me of how different the little things in our life are. There not bad differences, just simply different. But I'm thankful for them, for it helps me realize just how well we've adapted.
1. Kitchen utensils - Bobby has an adapted spoon and fork. They almost always stay on the kitchen table. I do wash them, but if I don't put them back on the table, then it's a scramble at meal time trying to find where they are. I have to be on guard when we have adult guests who help clean off the table that they don't get dropped into dishwater or the sink (the holders aren't washable) or the dishwasher (or heaven forbid some obscure drawer). My Mom, who is a fanatic about cleaning, once took his spoon and holder totally apart so she could wash the entire spoon and not just the part that was used. We had quite a time figuring out how to put it back together. And I have had one person toss it in the trash (thankfully there was nothing icky on top!). Kids always notice that his "tensils" are on the table (and are often tempted to play with them or at least try them on and see how they work).
2. Empty spots - It's funny. This is one that only seems to bother adults. For obvious reasons, we don't have a chair in Bobby's spot at either table. On at least two occasions a friend has repetitively tried to put a chair in that spot while we were cleaning up the kitchen. I had never thought about the fact the table looks unbalanced with all the chairs to one side. I simply have no desire to move furniture around every single time we eat or sit down to do paperwork. This is our home where we live and is not a showroom. Less obvious, we have a gap in the living room furniture so Bobby can see the television from the kitchen table. I think we (at least I did) often take for granted how much we use our laps or do other things while watching tv, and since that is not an option for him, being able to use the table is very helpful. I will admit this is an area I often forget to check (to make sure chairs haven't been moved in the way). It's not a necessity in our life, but it is one of those things we do that make life a little easier.
3. Floor space - I learned early on in our relationship NOT to kick my shoes off at the door. That's an almost guarantee to have a pair of shoes destroyed. Opening and closing a door in a wheelchair is not an easy task and requires having ample room to move. Shoes beside an entryway are in the way. It doesn't matter how many times I tell guests not to leave their shoes at the door, they think they're being polite by doing so. We have a very open floor plan in our house, and people also leave things in the floor thinking there's plenty of room (guilty of this one myself) without realizing they've essentially blocked Bobby into one room. (and this one happens a lot with young great-nephews and nieces who drop toys and then don't understand why Uncle Bobby can't "come on!")
4. Driving - while Bobby's chair is waiting on repair parts, I'm driving his van. For the most part, it drives like a normal vehicle, but there are gadgets and adaptors that can't be removed that modify how I sit and hold the wheel when I drive. People don't think about those things (the turn signal switch that I use is in its normal place; there's a toggle switch near his shoulder for him to use and I've bumped that and turned signals on while driving) but they do make life a little bit different.
I don't think about these things very often, but yesterday we had a young guest in our house who casually observed "You didn't move Mr. Bobby's fork off the table." that reminded me of how different the little things in our life are. There not bad differences, just simply different. But I'm thankful for them, for it helps me realize just how well we've adapted.
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