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plans and perceptions

Somewhere between the ages of 8-10, my boy cousins came to stay at my grandparents house. (For a long time there were only 3 boys out of 10 grandchildren.) Cool things happened at my grandparent's house when the boys were there. Papa opened up his woodshop, and we were allowed to play with his wooden blocks, a hammer and recycled nails. I loved it, until I was banned from hammering. My nails never seemed to go straight, and who can recycle bent nails? The boys also had a BB gun, and we always enjoyed watching (and begging) to shoot. We were also allowed to walk to the railroad tracks if the boys were with us (which was just across the road, literally). Yet it was during that time frame that my grandfather had cancer, and Mom and Dad felt we couldn't spend the night there. As an adult, that makes sense, but as a child, I could not understand. I was good; my cousins were good; why on earth couldn't we all stay as we had done in the past? For three days my parents drove the hour-long trip to their house in the morning, and back home at night. I loved it. But then the fourth day came, and Mom said we couldn't go back. For the life of me I could not understand why. We had nothing to do the next day, the boys only had two more days, and I let my thoughts be known. Mother erupted, as did Dad. It had never crossed my mind that they were spending money on gas to drive back and forth every day, that my grandfather was ill (he looked fine to me), or that my mother had things to do. My only thoughts were on my cousins and what I wanted to do.
I've thought about that memory a lot this week. And yes the kids have been some of it...they view America as the land of ice cream, McDonalds, pizza, swimming, and DVDs. Yet it doesn't cross their mind that things aren't cheap, time is scarce, and I have a hard time keeping up with everything. But I also wonder how many times I'm that way with God or my church...I only think about me and my needs and my wants, and not about everyone else around me. I like to think I've grown up and think of God and others first, but in reality I'm still that little child that needs a good scolding reminder.

Comments

Lydia said…
A good reminder to me not to be so self-focused. It's a mentality that the world throws at us- "It's all about me." It's hard to get out of that mindset.
Jennifer said…
That is a good reminder!
Carroll said…
I totally understand wanting to be with your cousins, though! There's nothing better!

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