recurring themes

One of the books I started in 2009 and hope to finish this year is Because He Loves Me by Elyse Fitzpatrick. Today I finished a young adult biography about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian, and the similarities in themes amazed me. Below is an excerpt from Bonhoeffer's writings:

If our Christianity has ceased to be serious about discipleship, if we have watered down the gospel into emotional uplift which makes no costly demands and which fails to distinguish between natural and Christian existence, then we cannot help regrading the cross as an everyday ordinary calamity, like one of the trials and tribulations of life. We have then forgotten that the cross means rejection and shame as well as suffering. The psalmist was lamenting that he was despised and rejected of men, and that is an essential quality of the suffering of the cross. But this notion has ceased to be intelligible to a Christianity which can no longer see any difference between an ordinary human life and a life committed to Christ. The cross means sharing the suffering of Christ to the last and to the fullest. Only a man thus totally committed in discipleship can experience the meaning of the cross.

The victory in my Christian life ultimately comes down to my view of the cross. It's that simple, and yet a principle that I so often brush aside as "heard it, got it, let's move on". And yet the reality is that I can't get on with my life as long as I push aside this important principle.

The last year Bobby has also been reading through a book detailing the historical timeline of Hitler's regime. Tonight at supper we compared notes, both astounded at how silent and complacent the church was, thus enabling Hitler to rise and flourish in power. Some of Bonhoeffer's writings could easily have been written to the church in America today.

One other quote from the biographer (the context is detailing Bonhoeffer's concern that the Nazi's demanded the church ignore the Old Testament because of its Jewish ties): "The Old Testament, which could not easily be separated from the message of the New Testament, was all about living by faith in this world. It was not about holding on until another world appeared. And if someone was required to live by faith here, he would not be irresponsible about what happened here...To retreat from life...was to retreat from a full, biblical vision of who God was."

to live by faith IN this world...isn't that our struggle still today? As a teenager it drove me crazy that all the old people in my church only seemed interested in the hereafter. I wanted a religion that made a difference in the here and now, not the hereafter. And yet today, I hesitate to witness for fear of shoving my beliefs on others, or don't call someone because listening to them would tie up too much time in an already busy day, so how is my faith being lived out today in this present world? The sad answer is that my focus at those times comes off the cross and onto me. I'm minimizing the cross and its impact on my life when I remove it from front and center of my life.

Now, if the next sermon I hear or book I read addresses this same topic, then my Mom would tell me I need to quit being so hard headed and actually apply what God is trying to tell me. It's still the cross.

friendliness, or lack thereof

I think (and is my totally biased opinion) that one of the reasons Barak Obama was so popular with younger and older people is because of his positive attitude during the campaign. His promise of hope and cooperation had a refreshing and resonating ideal that everyone wants to dream is possible. And now comes reality.
Given that Obama was one of the more liberal members of the Senate prior to the Presidency, it's not a big surprise that his policies and viewpoints are in direct disagreement with so many moderate Democrats and Republicans. His staunch and steadfast adherence to his principles (yes, even liberals can staunchly stand by immoral policies) in the past shouldn't cause anyone to be surprised that his current motto could easily be: Agree with me and friends we'll be.
Obama's unwillingness to meet half-way, his irritation at being questioned, and his arrogance in deriding others who disagree with him has eroded his very campaign promise of stopping politics as usual.
When all is said and done, many Americans shrug and say that's how politicians operate.
Sadly, I think this is how mankind operates.
When I go online and read news articles, the comments that follow shock me at the vitriolity and lack of common courtesy for opposing viewpoints. I seldom read the newspaper's editorial letters or comments on news forums or blogs for this very reason.
What disturbs me even more is that the church is not immune to such pettiness.
Believers should be passionate and zealous about their faiths and beliefs. We should adhere to I Peter 3:15 and be ready to give an answer for the hope within us. But it concerns me when I hear believers laugh or belittle other siblings in Christ who differ on doctrinal issues. It reminds of the parable in John 10 where Christ said, "And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd." I know Christ was talking to the Pharisees here, and many think he was alluding to the future Gentile believers, but when we arrogantly laugh at something that doesn't make sense to our frame of reference, are we not being Pharisees?
I often found it interesting in China that a group of believers who have not been taught doctrinal persuasions would be divided after studying certain Biblical passages. They were never told about terms such as charismatic, pentecostal, calvinism or apostasy, and yet while all praying for understanding they would argue and debate passages divided along those lines.
During the late 1700's, believers in Holland, England, and other countries would become so volatile over doctrinal differences that they would strive to ban the disagreeing brethren from holding any political office, living within a town, or fellowshipping with other believers. Things became so bad in Holland at one point that believers were burned at stake (by other believers). After questions were raised about the validity of such extreme persecution of non-believers (the victims were praying and praising God to the death), the believers in charge ordered the opposing believers' tongues to be cut out before they were brought to the stake and burned - all over doctrinal differences.
I'm just as opinionated as the next person. I can be extremely agitated when trying to help someone understand why they need to think like I do. (How's that for arrogance?) I sometimes gasp inside at the chasms between those of opposing political or religious views. And yet I shudder when I read historical stories and listen to myself and those around me. How many steps away are we from being as believers in Holland or the Nazis in Germany or even Muslims? I like to think that I could never ever be that extreme. And yet every comment deridingly made on an opposing viewpoint is simply one step closer to such arrogant danger. I'm not saying we can't disagree or debate things, but that there's a big difference between disagreement and derision.
So my dear readers, should you read (or hear in person) anything that comes across as such derision, please let me know. I fully desire to give an answer for the hope that is within me. But I want that answer to point to the Hope and its source and not away from Him.

time

60. 1. 60.1. 24. 7. 4. 12

60 seconds lasts forever when doing one footed jumps in aerobics.
1 Minute is nothing when it's time to leave for choir practice and I'm still not ready.

60 minutes flies by when I'm reading or listening to music.
An hour is an eternity when I'm ironing.

24 hours looks like a lot of time when I'm staring at my calendar.
One day is nothing when I've booked several events back to back and need space to get things ready for different event.s

7 days a week appears to be plenty of time to clean house and work on a project.
One week is a blink when we factor in church, work, and routine jobs.

4 weeks in a month: ample time for company, a project, to lose 2-3 pounds, plan a few activities.
One month: sickness, rain (more housework), yardwork, a holiday, and exhaustion

12 months of busyness.
1 year of life.

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. ~ James 4:14

I'm finally starting to comprehend it.

spoiled rotten

I have a house full of cool gadgets like ceiling fans, computer, microwave, washing machine and dryer:
Delights my three little monkeys oohed, aaahed, touched, and exclaimed over:
Equipment I take for granted.

I live in a country where I can easily apply for a passport.
It doesn't take several months salary, or a bribe, or trips to the country's capitol.
And yet travel isn't exactly easy for us.

If I needed to work, I would have several options before me: retail, fast food, design, administrative assistant, housekeeping, childcare, and the list goes on.
Our "little girl" is cleaning houses. Not a job she hoped for, not a job she chose, not a job for which anyone ever trained her. But I am thankful she has one, and pray that she has a warm, dry and safe place to put her head each night. So many orphans don't.

Lord, forgive me. I have been given so stinkin' much, both in material possessions and in opportunities, and yet I am so guilty of taking them for granted. You gave us 24 draining yet precious weeks of being parents, and yet as the time passes without a word I easily forget to pray and deliver them to the one who not only sees where they are but knows their hearts.

Belarus information for 2010: All presents were delivered. Mikalai is taller. Tatsiana is cleaning houses for a living. Aleh's present was delivered personally by an American. No agreement between Belarus and the US has been signed, though relations have improved, so Mikalai is again not eligible to come visit. And unless we get a letter from Tatsiana, that's probably all we'll hear until this time next year.

Waiting is so simple, but so hard to do.

not quite soaring

"And let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap if we faint not."
~ Galatians 6:9

Approximately six months ago I joined Rex Wellness Center in Garner. There's been days when the last thing I wanted to do was go work out. There have been days I've been so sore I could hardly move. And there have been some days when I've come home and just literally crashed. Thankfully those get fewer and fewer.

Then last September I took things a step further and half-heartily started trying to make us eat more "healthy". I haven't given up chocolate, but I have drastically cut back on it.

And yet, when all is said and done, my weight loss has plateaued. I'm not gaining (whoohoo!) but I'm not losing, either. And this after ramping up our healthy eating another notch. It's discouraging. As a teen I'd quote that verse "bodily exercise profits little" as an excuse on why I didn't need to exercise. After all, if the Bible recognizes that exercise does such little good, then why bother with it?

I know I'm in better shape. I can walk up the hill from feeding animals and if I'm winded at all, it's only slightly. Six months ago taking that walk put me so out of breath I'd have to stop and rest. At the retreat I could make it up and down the steps 98% of the time without losing my breath. Six months ago that wouldn't have happened. Bobby says I have more energy. I personally haven't noticed that (though exercise doesn't totally drop dead exhaust me now).

And yet, I have to admit I'm a little disappointed that as this month draws to a close my weight loss is simply not there.

My attitude going in to this whole mess was that I didn't put all this weight on overnight, and it's not going to come off overnight. I guess I was unrealistically hoping it would come off just a little bit faster, though.

I'm not soaring today by any means. But I am still flying, so I guess that counts for something.

strength vs. comfort

"God is concerned with making me strong. He isn't concerned with making me comfortable."

~ Sharon Daniels, first session

I've never been a big group kind of person. Prior to this weekend, I had previously been to two ladies retreats in my whole life and hadn't overly enjoyed either one. So I entered this weekend with more than a little trepidation. I shouldn't have. Yes, it did stretch me a little past my comfort zone to be with that many people for three whole days, but I can honestly say I enjoyed it! Bobby laughingly commented last night that he sent me to a retreat for rest and I came home exhausted! I told him that was true, but at least I was recharged! It's a good thing I didn't stay up late to play games or I really would have been wiped out! I can't even begin to list all the things I enjoyed (there was way too many!) but here's just a few of my more favorite memories:
Rhamatu during the "God and I" time
I loved being able to see the ocean, take walks, and sit outside to reflect on things. Even with the rain Thursday and some Friday, we could still see the waves!

June "Janice" Kidd, my roommate
Rhonda dubbed Mrs. Kidd "Janice" the first night. Mrs. Kidd never once corrected her. I enjoyed our conversation times, and found it neat that she was working on the type of stamped cross stitch that I enjoy. Her grandson's wife is expecting twins (a boy and a girl) next month, and she's diligently trying to make sure both child has a baby blanket. She had just started the boy blanket when we arrived. Keep stitching Mrs. June!

1/2 of my last night supper buddies "no kids clique"
Coming home we stopped for supper.Lauren, Jacqueline, Emily and I shared a booth and had a great time chatting and getting to know one another. One of the cool things we discussed was how all the CBC Moms aren't exclusive. Other than quite a few homeschooling discussions, the retreat wasn't filled with conversations centered around children. I love the fact that CBC Moms read books, have hobbies, and enjoy maintaining more than just their Mom facet. Don't get me wrong. I love hearing about children and what they say and do, but it's also nice to have friends who are Moms that can carry on conversations I can participate in. That's one of the many things I have loved about CBC. I have never once started a conversation with a CBC lady who answered, "I don't have time for such things. I'm a Mom." And that's pretty cool.

Saturday morning sunrise
This was the first retreat I have been to where we had ample free time to enjoy nature, fellowship with others, or just relax. From the monstrous and multitude of sea shells on the beach, to the high waves during the storm, to watching birds fight over crabs, it was great. It was also neat and a little funny to watch people straggle down for breakfast. I didn't take pictures since we were all sharing bathrooms and many were graciously waiting until after breakfast for showers, but it only took two mornings to figure out who the early risers were. Now if I can just figure out how on earth Alice, Lydia, and Rhonda can stay up so late and still be refreshed so early in the morning, I'll be in business.

and more craziness

Grandma Ball's footstool is now recovered. I measured the foam, cut it, measured the fabric, hemmed the edges, made an elastic holder, inserted the elastic and...it wouldn't go on. I didn't measure the elastic and it was too short. So I pulled the elastic out, whipped out my staple gun, and BAM! It's not professional-looking. I don't think I cut the foam evenly, but IT IS FINISHED! and it matches my couch and rocking chair and Bobby actually thought it looked nice.

This just goes to show how crazy I am. My mother-in-law will be staying at our house while I'm gone to the Ladies' Retreat, (my first time away in 10 years!) and my brother-in-law will be coming in every evening to help out with other things. So what do I do instead of cleaning house and getting things organized for them? Work on projects! Of course, to my crazily wired brain this makes perfect since. See, the fabric for the footstool and the rocking chair (which is not done and hidden in a bedroom) was on the kitchen table, which had to be cleaned off. And if we're trying really hard to put things where they go, doesn't it make sense to literally put the material and foam where it goes? And yesterday's mirror was propped up on the laundry room door, so it needed to be cleaned, repaired, and hung. I still haven't hung it yet, but seeing as I have another hour before leaving that might actually get done. Meanwhile, the hallway had to be cleaned out (you know, all the stuff I had to drag out there from my cluttered art room so I could reach the Christmas decorations) so in order to put that stuff away I had to actually start cleaning the art room. You can now see 3/4 of the hospital bed in that room, as well as 75% of the floor! Progress!

Now I just need to finish packing and feed the chickens.