When I come to the river at the ending of day
When the last winds of sorrow have blown
There'll be somebody waiting to show me the way
I won't have to cross Jordan alone

I won't have to cross Jordan alone
Jesus died all my sins to atone
In the darkness I see
He'll be waiting for me
I won't have to cross Jordan alone

Often times I'm weary and troubled and sad
When it seems that my friends have all flown
There is one thought that cheers me and makes my heart glad
I won't have to cross Jordan alone

I won't have to cross Jordan alone
Jesus died all my sins to atone
In the darkness I see
He'll be waiting for me
I won't have to cross Jordan alone

Though the billows of trouble and sorrow may sweep
Christ the Savior will care for his own
Till the end of my journey my soul he will keep
And I won't have to cross Jordan alone

I won't have to cross Jordan alone
Jesus died all my sins to atone
In the darkness I see
He'll be waiting for me
I won't have to cross Jordan alone

by Thomas Ramsey.

Bobby's close friend "Hank" (Henry Lauver) died today. I stopped to drop off some paperwork and discovered he was on oxygen and morphine (as of 7 this morning). I went to Target to get supplies for the nurse, stopped at his church to let the Pastor know they were predicting 24-36 hours, and came back to find him gone. I hate that none of his friends or family where with him, but he did have his wish to die at home, and his favorite nurse from Transitions was on duty today. We are shifting gears to deal with what we need to do and trying to figure out where to go from there. I assume we'll know more after tomorrow and should have an answer from his daughters tomorrow about their arrival as well. It bothers me a lot that he was alone at the end, but I also know that is probably the case for many widows and elderly people. I'll post more when I can process my thoughts.

Becoming too common

Several weeks ago North Carolina flags went half mast for a state patrolman who was murdered in the line of duty. Flags had not been full staff but a few days when a Ft.Bragg soldier, who was also a small town NC boy, died in Afghanistan. We weren't full staff long when we dropped back to half mast for the victims of the mass shooting in at the Jewish synagogue in Pennsylvania, and now we're at half mast for the same horror in California. Growing up we seldom saw Old Glory in a state of mourning, but for almost a month, that's all we've seen. And it makes me sad. The fact that we now have to ask "What are we at half-staff for now?" shows just how tragic-stricken our nation has become. And sadly, most of it is brought on from within.

So today while I'll head to Apex for a group quilt presentation for some veterans, I'm also mourning that our nation has failed to live up to its potential that these men and women have sacrificed so much for. We are an ungrateful nation, indeed.

The last harvest....I think

Since the beginning of October, every time I pick produce from the garden, I think  "This is the last harvest!" in an excited kind of way.

Bobby always laughs and tells me how grateful I should be that our garden is still producing. I think I would be a tad bit more grateful if I hadn't left half as many on the vines because they hadn't filled out yet and are still blooming...right before our first week of truly chilly weather. 

But I am thankful that the beans we thought were duds finally started producing more than just a serving here and there. And to think I've been pondering why we call November harvest time...for southerners the harvest has normally come and gone by this point!

nearing the finish line

This year is ending as quickly as it began. Elections are over, first of three quilt presentations this month is over, and the kids Christmas play at church is rolling almost faster than I can keep up with.

This week has also been a major change in Bobby's friend Hank. Today the hospice nurse told us we were looking at days to a few weeks. He's said all his good-byes, and has been very fearful this week that God has not forgiven him for his sins. This afternoon we chatted, and Bobby read several of his favorite passages of Scripture to him. I asked him to read a passage (Psalm 130) that my sis-in-law had posted on FB this morning and Hank surprised us by asking Bobby to read the last two verses of Jude. We both looked at each other, surprised. But we did, and I couldn't help but think what awesome promises to cling to in times of doubt.

 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. (Jude 24 and 25)

to present us faultless...one of the things I hate about my job on election day is evaluating the job people do. I try to be honest but objective.  No one is above making mistakes, especially during an insanely long day, nor being a bit rude, especially when dealing with rude, impatient, or ignorant people. And yet, I find comfort in knowing that no matter what happens around me, no matter if I mess up in explaining a situation to a person who really does not care to know, or show unkindness when dealing with a crazy situation, when I stand before my Judge, I will be presented as faultless because of my Savior. It doesn't make sense. And that is why God deserves glory and majesty and the power for all of eternity - because He can handle it, and He is merciful to us humans who, while created in His image, can't handle it.

My heart's desire tonight is that my mind will recall Scripture like Hank's, (he can't remember basic words or articulate simple requests, but is remembering parts of the Bible!) in times of need, that Hank will continue to be mostly pain free, and his time to rejoice in the presence of God will come quickly. He seemed disappointed when he asked if he was about to die and I told him probably not today. He needs rest, in every level and meaning of the word.