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guarding

Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.
~Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
 
 

Sunday morning as we read through the ending of Proverbs 4 and listened to how the Hebrew root word in verse 23 is actually the same word for guarding, as in on watch or guard duty (some translations use the words "keep" or "preserve" here).  I couldn't help but think about a story my Uncle told from his time during Vietnam.  His group had lost members during the night as the person on guard duty would fall asleep and the enemy would slip into camp and slice the throats of one or two soldiers, then leave. (I've heard other soldiers say they'd also decapitate or do other such atrocities.)  The position of night guard was one of the most critical jobs they had. It was serious enough that any time a group of fresh recruits arrived, they didn't want them to have the assignment. One night a newbie had the job, and my uncle and one other solider hid nearby and watched to see if he'd stay awake. Within an hour, the boy fell asleep. My uncle was livid, but his fellow soldier laughed and said "I got this."  They woke the boy, and the other solider popped the pin on a grenade and handed it to him (so if he let go of it, it would explode). Then they both went to their bunks and slept. I was horrified when I heard the story. How did they know the boy wouldn't fall asleep and again and they all might die? My uncle just laughed and said "Nah. If your life is in your hands, you stay awake.  We never had trouble with any of those recruits sleeping on guard duty after that."

I thought it was mean at the time I heard the story, but as I reflected on the fact that the boy held the lives of each of those men in his hands, I understand the seriousness of the situation and their desperation to make him stay awake during his shift.

And it makes me think about that verse in a whole new light. Do I guard my heart as if my very life depends on it?  Because in reality, it does.

And on a slightly different note, immediately after that sermon we met family at a restaurant. As I'm getting the food from the counter, I take a step back and immediately stepped into someone hard....so hard that the tray tilted and my head jerked back. The woman who had cut line and was jogging behind me didn't even apologize. I was NOT a happy camper, and I have never been so tempted to call someone a bad name in all my life. I think it would be sufficient to say I had a very bad attitude about the whole situation, even with the sermon running through my mind rebuking me for my selfishness, willingness/desire to call someone a bad name, and the temptation to call someone out for her rudeness (as if that wouldn't be rude itself). 

So yeah. I have a lot of work to do in guarding my heart from wickedness. There's a whole lot of mess I've allowed in there, and it needs some spring cleaning even more than my kitchen cabinets.
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