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the will to die

Growing up, I often heard people throw out comments like,
"Well, she just lost her will to live."
"He's quit fighting. It won't be long now."
and everyone solemnly nodded, as if we determine our time to go or stay.

There are the stories that make you pause and ponder the connection between our mind and our soul. For instance:
A lady from my hometown had two daughters. One was critically injured in a wreck and was spiritually not ready for death. The doctors gave her 24 hours. The Mom was a smoker and had emphysema. That night she stretched herself out on the daughter's hospital bed and prayed for God to take her instead of her daughter. The next morning the mother died sitting in the hospital chair - an aneurysm, the doctors said - and the daughter began to make steady improvements until she went home. A part of my mind argues that she was a very heavy smoker, often struggled with breathing, was under duress from her daughter's condition. Her death was brought about by stress and her unhealthy habits. But was it? Could her death have simply been an honest answer to her prayer, for God to allow the daughter one more chance to get serious about serving Him?
Two ladies in my home church grew up best friends. After marriage they lived near each other, their children were the same ages, two of their children married each other. When they both reached their last days, they were in the same hospital, one floor above each other. Dad was upstairs with one family. When she gave her last breath, he prayed with the family, then headed downstairs to be with the other family. He met them at the door to the elevator. The friend had just died, and they seemed aware their Mom's friend had died as well. They say she looked upward, reached out sideways, smiled, and was gone. Dad said it reminded him of how they always reached out to help steady each other in life.
I often made visits with Dad growing up. It wasn't uncommon for the elderly in our church to tell Dad they had a vision of a family member who had already died, to say they had seen the death angel, or God had given them a calmness that their time was up. They usually died soon afterward.
My Grandmother's doctor advised our family against a nursing home until it was an absolute necessity. He said independent people like my Granny usually lost the will to live and died within 2 years of going to a nursing home.
Scientifically I suppose one could argue that an elderly person's body is already shutting down, and they are around more illnesses in a nursing home and so succumb to death faster. But I wonder. Proverbs tells us that laughter or a merry heart is like a good medicine, and doctors of cancer patients have repetitively said that a good attitude in patients significantly increases their chances of recovery. So all this brings me back to my original pondering: If we lose the will to live, are we willing ourselves to die? Does God grant that desire, is it wishful thinking on our parts, or did He create us in such a way that our mental stability is seriously connected to our health? If so, could that be why people whose minds are gone seem to stay around forever...they don't have the mental capacity to determine their mind or will?
I know God has appointed a time for us to die, but sometimes I wonder if that appointment is a generic block of time (like this afternoon), or an exact minute kind of thing. Maybe one day I'll know.

Comments

Lydia said…
Good post. Your first story gave me chill bumps.

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